Friday, March 12, 2010

Like my poem please read?

PRIDE





im not waiting for you to come to me my boots are made for walking


im going to speak up loud you'll notice when im talking


what kinder person you think i am honey im the sea


i notice lakes ponds and rivers are jealous of me


but dont be modest dont be sad child im build on pride


thats why in between my legs theres a joy ride


im not afraid to tell the people freedom will ring


im hotter than fish oil slicker than grease and hapienese i will bring

Like my poem please read?
;) i had a good chuckle; it brought a smile to my face. i now what it's about. You need to fix the grammar and break up the sentence structure..... something like this:





I'm not walking for you to come to me


My boots are made for walking.


I'm NOT??? going to speak up loud


You'll notice when I'm talking.


What KIND OF ??? (not kinder?) person you think I am?


Honey, I'm the sea.


I notice lakes, ponds and rivers are jealous of me.


But don't be modest, don't be sad;


Child, I'm built on pride,


That's why in between my leg there's a joy ride.


I'm not afraid to tell the people THAT freedom will ring.


I'm hotter than fish oil, slicker than grease and


Happiness I will bring.








Just a go....... the words in caps are additional........


Great start though.
Reply:It's a little vauge and lame to me. . . try to spice things up a little, make it more intriguing. .
Reply:sick



C++ Function

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