Friday, March 12, 2010

Sometimes...do those translations seem slightly off????

In a Bucharest hotel lobby: The lift is being fixed for the day. During that time we regret that you will be unbearable.





In a Leipzig elevator: Do not enter the lift backwards, and only when lit up.





In a Belgrade elevator: To move the cabin, push button for wishing floor. If the cabin should enter more persons, each one should press a number of wishing floor. Driving is then going alphabetically by national order.





In a Paris hotel elevator: Please leave your values at the front desk.





In a hotel in Athens: Visitors are expected to complain at the office between the hours of 9%26amp;11 am daily.





In a Yugoslavian hotel: The flattening of underwear with pleasure is the job of the chambermaid.





In the lobby of a Moscow hotel across from a Russian orthodox Monastery: You are welcome to visit the cemetary where famous Russian and Soviet composers, artists, and writers are buried daily except Thursday.





In an Austrian hotel for skiers: Not to perambulate the corridors in the hours of repose in the boots of ascension.





On a menu in a Swiss restaurant: Our wines leave you nothing to hope for.





On a menu of a Polish hotel: Salad a firm's own make; limpid red beer soup with cheesy dumplings in the form of a finger; roasted duck let loose; beef rashers beaten up in the country people's fashion.





In a Hong Kong supermarket: For your convenience we recommend coourteous, effecient self-service.





In a Bangkok cleaners: Drop your trousers here for best results.





In a Paris dress shop: Dresses for street walking.





In a Hong Kong dress shop: Order your summers suit. Because is big rush we will execute customers in strict rotation.





From the Soviet weekly: There will be a Moscow Exhibition of the Arts by 15,000 Soviet Republic painters and sculptors. These were executed over the past two years.





In an East African newspaper: A new swimming pool is rapidly taking shape since the contractors have thrown in the bulk of their workers.





In a Vienna hotel: In case of fire, do your utmost to alarm the porter.





In Germany's Black Forest: It is strickly forbidden on our Black Forest camping site that people of different sex, for instance, men %26amp; women, live together in one tent unless they are married for that purpose.





An ad by a Hong Kong dentist: Teeth extracted by the latest Methodists.





A Russian chess book: A lot of water has been passed under the bridge since this variation has been played.





In a Rome laundry: Ladies, leave your clothes here and spend the afternoon having a good time.





In a Czech tourist agency: Take one of our horse driven tours--we guarantee no miscarriages.





Ad for donkey rides in Thailand: Would you like to ride your own ***?





On a faucet in a Finnish restroom: To stop the drip, turn **** to right.





In the window of a Swedish furrier: Fur coats made for the ladies from their own skin.





On a box of a clockwork toy in Hong Kong: Guaranteed to work throughout its useful life.





Detour sign in Kyushi, Japan: Stop--Drive sideways.





Swiss mountain inn: Special today--no ice cream.





Bangkok temple: It is forbidden to enter a woman even a foreigner if dressed like a man.





Tokyo bar: Special cocktail for the ladies with nuts.





Copenhagen airline ticket office: We take your bags and send them in all directions.





Moscow hotel room: If this is your first visit to the USSR, you are welcome to it.





Norwegian cocktail lounge: Ladies are requested not to have children in the bar.





Budapest zoo: Please do not feed the animals. If you have any suitable food, give it to the guard on duty.





Office of a Roman doctor: Specialist in women and other diseases.





Acapulco hotel: The manager has personally passed all the water served here.





Tokyo shop: Our nylons cost more than common, but you'll find that they are best in the long run.





Japanese instructions on an air conditioner: Cooles %26amp; Heates. If you want just condition of warm in your room, please control yourself.





Car rental brochure in Tokyo: When passenger of foot heave in sight, tootle the horn. Trumpet him melodiously at first, but if he still obstacles your passage then tootle him with vigor.





Two signs from a Majorcan shop entrance: English well talking; Here speeching American.





A sign on the lion cage at a zoo in the Czech Republic: No smoothen the lion.





A Finnish hotel's instructions in case of fire: If you are unable to leave your room, expose yourself in the window.





A notice in a Japanese hotel: Please not to steal towels. If you are not person to do such, please not to read notice.

Sometimes...do those translations seem slightly off????
thanks that's great fun, it's like that list of country song titles


ie: "I hate every bone in her body but mine"


"I gave her a ring and all she gave me was the finger"
Reply:Very interesting, I want to ride my own azz:~)


In case of fire, expose yourself in front of window.....
Reply:English isn't all that easy, is it ? LMOA great cuckles to start the day -- Thanks ;0]
Reply:These are great. You should compile a list of these and others and supply them to travel magazines, so others can get a good laugh.
Reply:Wonderful...the usual misuse of our language happens in church bullitins where misplacement of phrases can be quite distrubing...but these are great. Thanks for sharing. Goldwing
Reply:lol, I know what you mean. My spouse is from Costa Rica so her 1st lang. is spanish. Sometimes translating things doesn't go smoothly.


She speaks english fairly well. But sometimes if she translates from spanish to english for someone it comes out like your examples. Often i do the same translating english to spanish. But some words in english don't have a counter part in spanish or other langs. This is where one runs into these sorta translations. Unless ones very flewent in both lang. and totally re word what is said. To get the proper wording to explain and/or get the proper meaning. Which often isn't very easy.
Reply:I'm becoming addicted to your humor. Look forward to it daily. Some of these humourous translation are nearly true.
Reply:I look forward to your postings daily! That hotel manager in Acapulco should see a urologist!





Google Chinglish for signs from china.
Reply:Very good.......Makes you wonder if they realize how it sounds........something to pass on to those who like to travel.......
Reply:It makes you wonder how we 'translate' to others when we're giving answers. Love the last one. It's like those tests we used to take where you were supposed to read the instructions before you start, then find at the end you weren't supposed to take the test at all. Thanks for the laughs.
Reply:Personally, I'm on my way to the Rome Laundry!!!! Is there one close to the airport. I don't want to miss a minute.


I alsways knew those Finnish had liberal sex laws.
Reply:Hilarious
Reply:Thanks so much





I got instructions for the assembly of an armoire written with much the same type language in the instructions
Reply:These are an editor's dream (or nightmare?). Absolutely priceless! Thank you for sharing.





I think some were intended, just as they were written, to get a chuckle.



sweating

Sportbike Leathers Sexy or Fetish?

I ride a sportbike and on long rides wear a Dainese 1 piece leather suit. It is practical and comfortable. I find enjoyment looking at other guys in their leathers but I have no intention of walking up to them and telling them "i really like your leathers." I am happily married and not gay and the thought of being with a guy is not even there. My wife knows of my fascination for leathers, boots, and light bondage. So my question is: why do I care about what another guy wears on his motorcycle?

Sportbike Leathers Sexy or Fetish?
Sounds fetish to me. If you aren't attracted to the people wearing them, I think you have a fetish for the object, not the men.
Reply:that is becuase you might liek the leather only, and you dont liekthe guys at all, maybe it's just the fashion and clothes yoau re into and maybe you wanna...leather ..suit competetion you might wannt to know if anyoen have a better leather suit then you do or if you have a better oen and leather just make mefeel so weird when someone is in leather lol
Reply:both, depends on the person





♂♂



loan

Funny Foreign Signs. see if you like it?

In a Tokyo Hotel: Is forbidden to steal hotel towels please. If you are not a person to do such thing is please not to read notis.


In a Bucharest hotel lobby: The lift is being fixed for the next day. During that time we regret that you will be unbearable.


In a Leipzig elevator: Do not enter the lift backwards, and only when lit up.


In a Belgrade hotel elevator: To move the cabin, push button for wishing floor. If the cabin should enter more persons, each one should press a number of wishing floor. Driving is then going alphabetically by national order.


In a Paris hotel elevator: Please leave your values at the front desk.


In a hotel in Athens: Visitors are expected to complain at the office between the hours of 9 and 11 A.M. daily.


In a Yugoslavian hotel: The flattening of underwear with pleasure is the job of the chambermaid.


In a Japanese hotel: You are invited to take advantage of the chambermaid.


In the lobby of a Moscow hotel across from a Russian Orthodox monastery: You are welcome to visit the cemetery where famous Russian and Soviet composers, artists, and writers are buried daily except Thursday.


In an Austrian hotel catering to skiers: Not to perambulate the corridors in the hours of repose in the boots of ascension.


On the menu of a Swiss restaurant: Our wines leave you nothing to hope for.


On the menu of a Polish hotel: Salad a firm's own make; limpid red beet soup with cheesy dumplings in the form of a finger; roasted duck let loose; beef rashers beaten up in the country people's fashion.


Outside a Hong Kong tailor shop: Ladies may have a fit upstairs.


In a Bangkok dry cleaner's: Drop your trousers here for best results.


Outside a Paris dress shop: Dresses for street walking.


In a Rhodes tailor shop: Order your summers suit. Because is big rush we will execute customers in strict rotation.


A sign posted in Germany's Black forest: It is strictly forbidden on our black forest camping site that people of different sex, for instance, men and women, live together in one tent unless they are married with each other for that purpose.


In a Zurich hotel: Because of the impropriety of entertaining guests of the opposite sex in the bedroom, it is suggested that the lobby be used for this purpose.


In an advertisement by a Hong Kong dentist: Teeth extracted by the latest Methodists.


In a Rome laundry: Ladies, leave your clothes here and spend the afternoon having a good time.


In a Czechoslovakian tourist agency: Take one of our horse-driven city tours - we guarantee no miscarriages.


Advertisement for donkey rides in Thailand: Would you like to ride on your own ***?


In a Swiss mountain inn: Special today -- no ice cream.


In a Bangkok temple: It is forbidden to enter a woman even a foreigner if dressed as a man.


In a Tokyo bar: Special cocktails for the ladies with nuts.


In a Copenhagen airline ticket office: We take your bags and send them in all directions.


On the door of a Moscow hotel room: If this is your first visit to the USSR, you are welcome to it.


In a Norwegian cocktail lounge: Ladies are requested not to have children in the bar.


In a Budapest zoo: Please do not feed the animals. If you have any suitable food, give it to the guard on duty.


In the office of a Roman doctor: Specialist in women and other diseases.


In an Acapulco hotel: The manager has personally passed all the water served here.


In a Tokyo shop: Our nylons cost more than common, but you'll find they are best in the long run.


From a Japanese information booklet about using a hotel air conditioner: Cooles and Heates: If you want just condition of warm in your room, please control yourself.


From a brochure of a car rental firm in Tokyo: When passenger of foot heave in sight, tootle the horn. Trumpet him melodiously at first, but if he still obstacles your passage then tootle him with vigor.


Two signs from a Majorcan shop entrance: - English well talking. - Here speeching American.

Funny Foreign Signs. see if you like it?
LMAO those are hilarious....they remind me of the signs here in Japan, that are like cartoon pics with different things and a diagonal line thru them so you know that you are not supposed to do them, like the one with a dog and poop, so you know that you are supposed to pick up after your pets......who would have thought to make a sign like that and post it all around the city!
Reply:boy- that was a lot to read!! But it was fun!!
Reply:Absolutely hilarious!!!!!!!! Where did you find them all in one place?
Reply:old but still nice...
Reply:it was okay...got boring after a while...
Reply:%26lt;--------------- Here speeching American too. lol
Reply:no kidding!!!
Reply:hAhA lol





love the norwegian cocktail roman doctor and tokyo car rental especially...
Reply:long but funny!!! :D



leather handbag

How cold does it have to be to get frostbite/nip?

I live in Chicago and I dog walk for a living. Some may know already that we are freezing over here in windchills between -5 and -30. I make sure I bundle really well but I ride my bike for work too so I am always cold. The last couple of days my big toes have been in so much pain on my way home that I want to scream. The nails look a little greyish when I first take off my boots but then return to normal after a while. I feel like I am being dramatic though so I am just wondering if this is something i should be serious about or not + what can I do, I already wear 2 pairs of socks w/ winter boots?

How cold does it have to be to get frostbite/nip?
As long as they return to normal its just really cold. You'll know if you ever get frostbite - its painful to touch even after hours inside and then it starts peeling and all that -lol almost like sunburn really. Maybe get new boots lol, because some shoes will contain the warmth generated by your feet better than others.
Reply:It doesn't take long in this frigid weather,add in the wind chill,its even less time. I would see my Doctor,its impossible for you to know or any other person to know for sure especially here.Take care. SW RNP



office chair

Friday, November 6, 2009

Lost in Translation????

In a Bucharest hotel lobby: The lift is being fixed for the day. During that time we regret that you will be unbearable.





In a Leipzig elevator: Do not enter the lift backwards, and only when lit up.





In a Belgrade elevator: To move the cabin, push button for wishing floor. If the cabin should enter more persons, each one should press a number of wishing floor. Driving is then going alphabetically by national order.





In a Paris hotel elevator: Please leave your values at the front desk.





In a hotel in Athens: Visitors are expected to complain at the office between the hours of 9%26amp;11 am daily.





In a Yugoslavian hotel: The flattening of underwear with pleasure is the job of the chambermaid.





In the lobby of a Moscow hotel across from a Russian orthodox Monastery: You are welcome to visit the cemetary where famous Russian and Soviet composers, artists, and writers are buried daily except Thursday.





In an Austrian hotel for skiers: Not to perambulate the corridors in the hours of repose in the boots of ascension.





On a menu in a Swiss restaurant: Our wines leave you nothing to hope for.





On a menu of a Polish hotel: Salad a firm's own make; limpid red beer soup with cheesy dumplings in the form of a finger; roasted duck let loose; beef rashers beaten up in the country people's fashion.





In a Hong Kong supermarket: For your convenience we recommend coourteous, effecient self-service.





In a Bangkok cleaners: Drop your trousers here for best results.





In a Paris dress shop: Dresses for street walking.





In a Hong Kong dress shop: Order your summers suit. Because is big rush we will execute customers in strict rotation.





From the Soviet weekly: There will be a Moscow Exhibition of the Arts by 15,000 Soviet Republic painters and sculptors. These were executed over the past two years.





In an East African newspaper: A new swimming pool is rapidly taking shape since the contractors have thrown in the bulk of their workers.





In a Vienna hotel: In case of fire, do your utmost to alarm the porter.





In Germany's Black Forest: It is strickly forbidden on our Black Forest camping site that people of different sex, for instance, men %26amp; women, live together in one tent unless they are married for that purpose.





An ad by a Hong Kong dentist: Teeth extracted by the latest Methodists.





A Russian chess book: A lot of water has been passed under the bridge since this variation has been played.





In a Rome laundry: Ladies, leave your clothes here and spend the afternoon having a good time.





In a Czech tourist agency: Take one of our horse driven tours--we guarantee no miscarriages.





Ad for donkey rides in Thailand: Would you like to ride your own ***?





On a faucet in a Finnish restroom: To stop the drip, turn cock to right.





In the window of a Swedish furrier: Fur coats made for the ladies from their own skin.





On a box of a clockwork toy in Hong Kong: Guaranteed to work throughout its useful life.





Detour sign in Kyushi, Japan: Stop--Drive sideways.





Swiss mountain inn: Special today--no ice cream.





Bangkok temple: It is forbidden to enter a woman even a foreigner if dressed like a man.





Tokyo bar: Special cocktail for the ladies with nuts.





Copenhagen airline ticket office: We take your bags and send them in all directions.





Moscow hotel room: If this is your first visit to the USSR, you are welcome to it.





Norwegian cocktail lounge: Ladies are requested not to have children in the bar.





Budapest zoo: Please do not feed the animals. If you have any suitable food, give it to the guard on duty.





Office of a Roman doctor: Specialist in women and other diseases.





Acapulco hotel: The manager has personally passed all the water served here.





Tokyo shop: Our nylons cost more than common, but you'll find that they are best in the long run.





Japanese instructions on an air conditioner: Cooles %26amp; Heates. If you want just condition of warm in your room, please control yourself.





Car rental brochure in Tokyo: When passenger of foot heave in sight, tootle the horn. Trumpet him melodiously at first, but if he still obstacles your passage then tootle him with vigor.





Two signs from a Majorcan shop entrance: English well talking; Here speeching American.





A sign on the lion cage at a zoo in the Czech Republic: No smoothen the lion.





A Finnish hotel's instructions in case of fire: If you are unable to leave your room, expose yourself in the window.





A notice in a Japanese hotel: Please not to steal towels. If you are not person to do such, please not to read notice.

Lost in Translation????
omg lmao those are great! and remember everybody:





No smoothen the lion! and if you are unable to leave your room, expose yourself in the window!! haha :P
Reply:Are you unemployed? I have the day off, but didnt have time to read that whole mess you posted.
Reply:those are funny but you can tell what they are trying to get at.
Reply:Hilarious!
Reply:One thing for sure... I don't wanna be ordering any water at the Acapulco Hotel.
Reply:hahahah that is SO funny





where did you get that from?
Reply:Love it! I have purchased some furniture that needed assembly, the instructions were translated and left me laughing and scratching my head as to what they meant. Thanks sio much!



dental

Joules Wellies?

I'm going to Scotland, Ireland, and England for two weeks. I thought buying rain boots would be a good idea, since it's wet there most of the time.





I really like the Joules Wellies. And since I ride they would also be good for mucking out stalls and stuff.





I was wondering if they're nice and everything, because they're $70, and that's a good bit for rain boots. So does anyone know if they're worth it?

Joules Wellies?
Both the Barn Manager and her daughter have them, and If they can last through cleaning our stalls(they flood) I would say they are.
Reply:Wellies are a good idea, but both of my friends who bought Joules wellies have been very disappointed with them. They have split around the ankles after only a few months of wearing them.


They are not as fun to look at, but I think the best wellies for being around horses, and dealing with the British climate, are 'Hunters'. Kate Moss wears them! They do come in lots of colours, but no patterns. Check out the link if you're interested:


http://www.uttingsoutdoors.com/?flashint...





Have a great time over here. You may be lucky, we are due to have some great weather soon!...
Reply:Hunters are cheaper too and really good and Barbours are great and come in loads of colors and patterns.
Reply:I always buy joules wellies I find them fantastic they are brilliant in the Scottish weather I live in Scotland. they keep feet warm and dry and they are long lasting. i have ones with flowers on them and they are very nice and bright. I also ride in them a lot as well. I would recommend them
Reply:Probably not. You could probably just buy some cheap mud boots at Academy, I got mine there for $15.



jsp

Signs seen in non-English speaking countries?

In a Vienna hotel: In case of fire, do your utmost to alarm the hotel porter.





A sign posted in Germany's Black Forest: It is strictly forbidden on our black forest camping site that people of different sex, for instance, men and women, live together in one tent unless they are married with each other for that purpuse.





In a Zurich hotel: Because of the impropriety of entertaining guests of the opposite sex in the bedroom, it is suggested that the lobby be used for this purpuse.





In an advertisement by a Hong Kong dentist: Teeth extracted by the latest Methodist.





A translated sentence from a Russian chess book: A lot of water has been passed under the bridge since this variation has been played.





In a Rome laundry: Ladies, leave your clothes here and spend the afternoon having a good time.





In a Czechoslovakian tourist agency: Take one of our horse-driven city tours -- we guarantee no miscarriages.





Advertisement for donkey rides in Thailand: Would you like to ride on your own a*s?





On the tap in a Finnish washroom: To stop the drip, turn c*ck to right.





In the window of a Swedish furrier: Fur coats made for ladies from their own skin.





On the box of a clockwork toy made in Hong Kong: Guaranteed to work throughout its useful life.





Detour sign in Kyushi, Japan: Stop: Drive Sideways.





In a Swiss mountain inn: Special today - no ice cream.





In a Bangkok temple: It is forbidden to enter a woman even foreigner if dressed as a man.





In a Tokyo bar: Special cocktails for the ladies with nuts.





In a Copenhagen airline ticket office: We take your bags and send them in all directions.





On the door of a Moscow hotel room: If this is your first visit to USSR, you are welcome to it.





In a Norwegian cocktail lounge: Ladies are requested not to have children in the bar.





At a Budapest zoo: Please do not feed animals. If you have any suitable food, give it to the guard on duty.





In the office of a Roman doctor: Specialist in women and other diseases.





In a Tokyo hotel: Is forbidden to steal hotel towel please. If you are not person to do such thing is please not to read this notice.





In another Japanese hotel room: Please to bathe inside the tub.





In a Bucharest hotel lobby: The lift is being fixed for the next day. During that time we regret that you will be unbearable.





In a Leipzig elevator: Do not enter backwards, and only when lit up.





In a Belgrade hotel elevator: To move the cabin, push button for wishing floor. If the cabin should enter more persons, each one should press a number of wishing floor. Driving is then going alphabetically by national order.





In a Paris hotel elevator: Please leave your values at the front desk.





In a hotel in Athens: Visitors are expected to complain at the office between the hours of 9 and 11 A.M. daily.





In a Yugoslavian hotel: The flattening of underwear with pleasure is the job of the chambermaid.





In a Japanese hotel: You are invited to take advantage of the chambermaid.





In the lobby of a Moscow hotel across from a Russian Orthodox monastery: You are welcome to visit the cemetery where famous Russian and Soviet composers, artists, and writers are buried daily except Thursday.





Similarly, from the Soviet Weekly: There will be a Moscow Exhibition of Aets by 15,000 Soviet Republic painters and sculptors. These were executed over the past two years.





In an Austrian hotel catering to skiers: Not to perambulate the corridors in the hours of repose in the boots of ascension.





On the menu of a Swiss restaurant: Our wines leave you nothing to hope for.





In the menu of a Polish hotel: Salad a firm's own make; limpid red beet soup with cheesy dumplings in the form of a finger; roasted duck let loose; beef rashers beaten up the country people's fashion.





In a Hong Kong supermarket: For your convenience, we recommend courteous, efficient self-service.





Outside a Hong Kong tailor shop: Ladies may have a fit upstairs.





In a Rhodes tailor shop: Order your summers suit. Because is big rush we will execute customers in strict rotation.





In an East African newspaper: A new swimming pool is rapidly taking shape since the contractors have thrown in the bulk of their workers.





In a Bangkok dry cleaners: Drop your trousers here for best results.





Outside a Paris dress shop: Dresses for street walking.





In the office of a Roman doctor: Specialist in women and other diseases.





In an Acapulco hotel: The manager has personally passed all the water served here.





In a Tokyo shop: Our nylons cost more than common, but you'll find they are best in the long run.





From a Japanese information booklet about using a hotel air conditioner: Cooles and Heates: If you want just condition of warm in your room, please control yourself.





From a brochure of a car rental firm in Tokyo: When passenger of foot heave in sight, tootle the horn. Trumpet him melodiously at first, but if he still obstacles your passage then tootle him with vigor.

Signs seen in non-English speaking countries?
Very Very Nice


100/100


cant stop laughing keep it up ;-))
Reply:very funny
Reply:I so nearly didn't read them all but I'm glad I did!
Reply:Meet me at the Sha-Tin chinese restaurant in Heathmont Victoria Australia soi we can discuss further.
Reply:Read all of them....and wishing for more!! =)
Reply:I'm in tears! hehehehe, loved the Russian Monastery one! LOL!!
Reply:lol.lol
Reply:Why is it that when i read the funniest jokes in here i have to be in the university computer room. hahahahahaha





I work in an aquarium in Japan and there is this sign next to where they keep the pinguins that says "no flush" hahaha and i once saw a soccer team whose name was "bastards" hahaha





thank you, you made my day. here's your star!





oh and do you mind if i save it for later reference?


thank you





good luck.
Reply:Ha ha ha.!!!


Confusing signs, lol.!!!


Excellent so 10/10.!!!


Cheers Mechelle.!!
Reply:HEhahaha..lololol..wonderful
Reply:lol,





very funny. read it all and hoping you will post more%26gt;





I liked that: todays special: no ice cream ! lol
Reply:first joke already gt me laughing hard
Reply:very funny
Reply:v good


star
Reply:very good.
Reply:lmao have a star
Reply:LOL :)
Reply:hehehe, now i know why i don't go abroad, pmsl





star time





xxxxxxxxxxxx
Reply:Very funny
Reply:Excellent
Reply:hahaha, really funny


but too long, next time divide it into two questions
Reply:tootle him with vigor





/laugh


/cry


/breathe



scooter