Would you agree that only seniors can afford to travel to all these different countries ?

English gems from around the world:


In a Tokyo hotel:


Is forbidden to steal hotel towels please. If you are not a person to do such thing is please not to read notis.


In a Bucharest hotel lobby:





The lift is being fixed for the next day. During that time we regret that you will be unbearable.


In a Leipzig elevator:





Do not enter the lift backwards, and only when lit up.


To move the cabin, push button for wishing floor. If the cabin should enter more persons, each one should press a number of wishing floor. Driving is then going alphabetically by national order.


In a Paris hotel elevator:





Please leave your values at the front desk.


In a hotel in Athens:





Visitors are expected to complain at the office between the hours of 9 and 11 A.M. daily.


In a Yogoslavian hotel:





the flattening of underwear with pleasure is the job of the chambermaid.


In a Japanese hotel:





You are invited to take advantage of the chambermaid.


In the lobby of a Moscow hotel across from a Russian Orthodox monastery:





Your are welcome to visit the cemetery where famous Russian and Soviet composers, artists, and writers are buried daily except Thursday.


In an Austrian hotel catering to skiers:





Not to perambulate the corridors in the hours of repose in the boots of ascension.


On the menu of a Swiss restaurant:





Our wines leave you nothing to hope for.


Outside a Hong Kong tailor shop:





Ladies may have a fit upstairs.


Outside a Paris dress shop:





Dresses for street walking.


A sign posted in Germany's Black forest:





It is strictly forbidden on our black forest camping site that people of different sex, for instance, men and women, live together in one tent unless they are married with each other for that purpose.


In a Zurich hotel:





Because of the impropriety of entertaining guests of the opposite sex in the bedroom, it is suggested that the lobby be used for this purpose.


In an advertisement by a Hong Kong dentist:





Teeth extracted by the latest Methodists.


In a Rome laundry:





Ladies, leave your clothes here and spend the afternoon having a good time.


In a Czechoslovakian tourist agency:





Take one of our horse-driven city tours - we guarantee no miscarriages.


Advertisement for donkey rides in Thailand:





Would you like to ride on your own ***?


In a Swiss mountain inn:





Special today -- no ice cream.


In a Bangkok temple:





It is forbidden to enter a woman even a foreigner if dressed as a man.


In a Tokyo bar:





Special cocktails for the ladies with nuts.


In a Copenhagen airline ticket office:





We take your bags and send them in all directions.


In the door of a Moscow hotel room:





If this is your first visit to the USSR, you are welcome to it.


In a Norwegian cocktail lounge:





Ladies are requested not to have children in the bar.


In a Budapest zoo:





Please do not feed the animals. If you have any suitable food, give it to the guard on duty.


In the office of a Roman doctor:





Specialist in women and other diseases.


In an Acapulco hotel:





The manager has personally passed all the water served here.


In a Tokyo shop:





Our nylons cost more than common, but you'll find they are best in the long run.


From a brochure of a car rental firm in Tokyo:





When passenger of foot heave in sight, tootle the horn. Trumpet him melodiously at first, but if he still obstacles your passage then tootle him with vigor.


Sign in a Majorcan shop entrance:





English well talking.

Would you agree that only seniors can afford to travel to all these different countries ?
Brilliant! The USSR one cracked me up the most and I've laughed so much my face now looks like a bag of crisps.!


Cheers.....


I went on holiday to Turkey once where full English breakfasts are common for the tourists.On a board read:





Full English made with not fake pigs and Tost%26amp;Mamladdy.


Seriously!
Reply:Very good! Chuckles!!
Reply:I'm with mydearsie, I am not going to Acapulco, not even if the owner passed all the water.





Thanks Susie, you help shorten a long week.
Reply:I think I could get in a lot of trouble in some of those places. Might be interesting to take them in literal English. I had seen some of the these. I think they are very funny.
Reply:Sorta makes a person wonder where some of these people learned the English language, doesn't it? I'm guessing Cable TV or the Internet! That's probably why I have no interest in leaving the USA. I love it here because I already know this slangwage!
Reply:Thanks, Suzie. I don't think I have laughed out loud all day today. Too funny!
Reply:Well thats it then, I'm off to Moscow!!
Reply:This was excellent.
Reply:Okay. I guess I have to cancel my trip to Acapulco. I wonder what a traveler to this country thinks if they see the sign 'Yes, we have no bananas'.


These are cute. Thanks again.
Reply:Not really a question but so entertaining
Reply:Am still laughing out loud - my cats are staring at me wondering what I am up to? So funny Suz - have a star!


Hugs CJ
Reply:You've done it again! Thanks for a good laugh. Can't pick out a favourite because they all made me laugh.
Reply:Take one of our horse-driven city tours - we guarantee no miscarriages


reminds me of when I was in Malta - a horse and carriage drive said to me- me take you lady, me charge to cheep



cat skin problem