In a Bucharest hotel lobby: The lift is being fixed for the day. During that time we regret that you will be unbearable.
In a Leipzig elevator: Do not enter the lift backwards, and only when lit up.
In a Belgrade elevator: To move the cabin, push button for wishing floor. If the cabin should enter more persons, each one should press a number of wishing floor. Driving is then going alphabetically by national order.
In a Paris hotel elevator: Please leave your values at the front desk.
In a hotel in Athens: Visitors are expected to complain at the office between the hours of 9%26amp;11 am daily.
In a Yugoslavian hotel: The flattening of underwear with pleasure is the job of the chambermaid.
In the lobby of a Moscow hotel across from a Russian orthodox Monastery: You are welcome to visit the cemetary where famous Russian and Soviet composers, artists, and writers are buried daily except Thursday.
In an Austrian hotel for skiers: Not to perambulate the corridors in the hours of repose in the boots of ascension.
On a menu in a Swiss restaurant: Our wines leave you nothing to hope for.
On a menu of a Polish hotel: Salad a firm's own make; limpid red beer soup with cheesy dumplings in the form of a finger; roasted duck let loose; beef rashers beaten up in the country people's fashion.
In a Hong Kong supermarket: For your convenience we recommend coourteous, effecient self-service.
In a Bangkok cleaners: Drop your trousers here for best results.
In a Paris dress shop: Dresses for street walking.
In a Hong Kong dress shop: Order your summers suit. Because is big rush we will execute customers in strict rotation.
From the Soviet weekly: There will be a Moscow Exhibition of the Arts by 15,000 Soviet Republic painters and sculptors. These were executed over the past two years.
In an East African newspaper: A new swimming pool is rapidly taking shape since the contractors have thrown in the bulk of their workers.
In a Vienna hotel: In case of fire, do your utmost to alarm the porter.
In Germany's Black Forest: It is strickly forbidden on our Black Forest camping site that people of different sex, for instance, men %26amp; women, live together in one tent unless they are married for that purpose.
An ad by a Hong Kong dentist: Teeth extracted by the latest Methodists.
A Russian chess book: A lot of water has been passed under the bridge since this variation has been played.
In a Rome laundry: Ladies, leave your clothes here and spend the afternoon having a good time.
In a Czech tourist agency: Take one of our horse driven tours--we guarantee no miscarriages.
Ad for donkey rides in Thailand: Would you like to ride your own ***?
On a faucet in a Finnish restroom: To stop the drip, turn cock to right.
In the window of a Swedish furrier: Fur coats made for the ladies from their own skin.
On a box of a clockwork toy in Hong Kong: Guaranteed to work throughout its useful life.
Detour sign in Kyushi, Japan: Stop--Drive sideways.
Swiss mountain inn: Special today--no ice cream.
Bangkok temple: It is forbidden to enter a woman even a foreigner if dressed like a man.
Tokyo bar: Special cocktail for the ladies with nuts.
Copenhagen airline ticket office: We take your bags and send them in all directions.
Moscow hotel room: If this is your first visit to the USSR, you are welcome to it.
Norwegian cocktail lounge: Ladies are requested not to have children in the bar.
Budapest zoo: Please do not feed the animals. If you have any suitable food, give it to the guard on duty.
Office of a Roman doctor: Specialist in women and other diseases.
Acapulco hotel: The manager has personally passed all the water served here.
Tokyo shop: Our nylons cost more than common, but you'll find that they are best in the long run.
Japanese instructions on an air conditioner: Cooles %26amp; Heates. If you want just condition of warm in your room, please control yourself.
Car rental brochure in Tokyo: When passenger of foot heave in sight, tootle the horn. Trumpet him melodiously at first, but if he still obstacles your passage then tootle him with vigor.
Two signs from a Majorcan shop entrance: English well talking; Here speeching American.
A sign on the lion cage at a zoo in the Czech Republic: No smoothen the lion.
A Finnish hotel's instructions in case of fire: If you are unable to leave your room, expose yourself in the window.
A notice in a Japanese hotel: Please not to steal towels. If you are not person to do such, please not to read notice.
Lost in Translation????
omg lmao those are great! and remember everybody:
No smoothen the lion! and if you are unable to leave your room, expose yourself in the window!! haha :P
Reply:Are you unemployed? I have the day off, but didnt have time to read that whole mess you posted.
Reply:those are funny but you can tell what they are trying to get at.
Reply:Hilarious!
Reply:One thing for sure... I don't wanna be ordering any water at the Acapulco Hotel.
Reply:hahahah that is SO funny
where did you get that from?
Reply:Love it! I have purchased some furniture that needed assembly, the instructions were translated and left me laughing and scratching my head as to what they meant. Thanks sio much!
dental
Friday, November 6, 2009
Joules Wellies?
I'm going to Scotland, Ireland, and England for two weeks. I thought buying rain boots would be a good idea, since it's wet there most of the time.
I really like the Joules Wellies. And since I ride they would also be good for mucking out stalls and stuff.
I was wondering if they're nice and everything, because they're $70, and that's a good bit for rain boots. So does anyone know if they're worth it?
Joules Wellies?
Both the Barn Manager and her daughter have them, and If they can last through cleaning our stalls(they flood) I would say they are.
Reply:Wellies are a good idea, but both of my friends who bought Joules wellies have been very disappointed with them. They have split around the ankles after only a few months of wearing them.
They are not as fun to look at, but I think the best wellies for being around horses, and dealing with the British climate, are 'Hunters'. Kate Moss wears them! They do come in lots of colours, but no patterns. Check out the link if you're interested:
http://www.uttingsoutdoors.com/?flashint...
Have a great time over here. You may be lucky, we are due to have some great weather soon!...
Reply:Hunters are cheaper too and really good and Barbours are great and come in loads of colors and patterns.
Reply:I always buy joules wellies I find them fantastic they are brilliant in the Scottish weather I live in Scotland. they keep feet warm and dry and they are long lasting. i have ones with flowers on them and they are very nice and bright. I also ride in them a lot as well. I would recommend them
Reply:Probably not. You could probably just buy some cheap mud boots at Academy, I got mine there for $15.
jsp
I really like the Joules Wellies. And since I ride they would also be good for mucking out stalls and stuff.
I was wondering if they're nice and everything, because they're $70, and that's a good bit for rain boots. So does anyone know if they're worth it?
Joules Wellies?
Both the Barn Manager and her daughter have them, and If they can last through cleaning our stalls(they flood) I would say they are.
Reply:Wellies are a good idea, but both of my friends who bought Joules wellies have been very disappointed with them. They have split around the ankles after only a few months of wearing them.
They are not as fun to look at, but I think the best wellies for being around horses, and dealing with the British climate, are 'Hunters'. Kate Moss wears them! They do come in lots of colours, but no patterns. Check out the link if you're interested:
http://www.uttingsoutdoors.com/?flashint...
Have a great time over here. You may be lucky, we are due to have some great weather soon!...
Reply:Hunters are cheaper too and really good and Barbours are great and come in loads of colors and patterns.
Reply:I always buy joules wellies I find them fantastic they are brilliant in the Scottish weather I live in Scotland. they keep feet warm and dry and they are long lasting. i have ones with flowers on them and they are very nice and bright. I also ride in them a lot as well. I would recommend them
Reply:Probably not. You could probably just buy some cheap mud boots at Academy, I got mine there for $15.
jsp
Signs seen in non-English speaking countries?
In a Vienna hotel: In case of fire, do your utmost to alarm the hotel porter.
A sign posted in Germany's Black Forest: It is strictly forbidden on our black forest camping site that people of different sex, for instance, men and women, live together in one tent unless they are married with each other for that purpuse.
In a Zurich hotel: Because of the impropriety of entertaining guests of the opposite sex in the bedroom, it is suggested that the lobby be used for this purpuse.
In an advertisement by a Hong Kong dentist: Teeth extracted by the latest Methodist.
A translated sentence from a Russian chess book: A lot of water has been passed under the bridge since this variation has been played.
In a Rome laundry: Ladies, leave your clothes here and spend the afternoon having a good time.
In a Czechoslovakian tourist agency: Take one of our horse-driven city tours -- we guarantee no miscarriages.
Advertisement for donkey rides in Thailand: Would you like to ride on your own a*s?
On the tap in a Finnish washroom: To stop the drip, turn c*ck to right.
In the window of a Swedish furrier: Fur coats made for ladies from their own skin.
On the box of a clockwork toy made in Hong Kong: Guaranteed to work throughout its useful life.
Detour sign in Kyushi, Japan: Stop: Drive Sideways.
In a Swiss mountain inn: Special today - no ice cream.
In a Bangkok temple: It is forbidden to enter a woman even foreigner if dressed as a man.
In a Tokyo bar: Special cocktails for the ladies with nuts.
In a Copenhagen airline ticket office: We take your bags and send them in all directions.
On the door of a Moscow hotel room: If this is your first visit to USSR, you are welcome to it.
In a Norwegian cocktail lounge: Ladies are requested not to have children in the bar.
At a Budapest zoo: Please do not feed animals. If you have any suitable food, give it to the guard on duty.
In the office of a Roman doctor: Specialist in women and other diseases.
In a Tokyo hotel: Is forbidden to steal hotel towel please. If you are not person to do such thing is please not to read this notice.
In another Japanese hotel room: Please to bathe inside the tub.
In a Bucharest hotel lobby: The lift is being fixed for the next day. During that time we regret that you will be unbearable.
In a Leipzig elevator: Do not enter backwards, and only when lit up.
In a Belgrade hotel elevator: To move the cabin, push button for wishing floor. If the cabin should enter more persons, each one should press a number of wishing floor. Driving is then going alphabetically by national order.
In a Paris hotel elevator: Please leave your values at the front desk.
In a hotel in Athens: Visitors are expected to complain at the office between the hours of 9 and 11 A.M. daily.
In a Yugoslavian hotel: The flattening of underwear with pleasure is the job of the chambermaid.
In a Japanese hotel: You are invited to take advantage of the chambermaid.
In the lobby of a Moscow hotel across from a Russian Orthodox monastery: You are welcome to visit the cemetery where famous Russian and Soviet composers, artists, and writers are buried daily except Thursday.
Similarly, from the Soviet Weekly: There will be a Moscow Exhibition of Aets by 15,000 Soviet Republic painters and sculptors. These were executed over the past two years.
In an Austrian hotel catering to skiers: Not to perambulate the corridors in the hours of repose in the boots of ascension.
On the menu of a Swiss restaurant: Our wines leave you nothing to hope for.
In the menu of a Polish hotel: Salad a firm's own make; limpid red beet soup with cheesy dumplings in the form of a finger; roasted duck let loose; beef rashers beaten up the country people's fashion.
In a Hong Kong supermarket: For your convenience, we recommend courteous, efficient self-service.
Outside a Hong Kong tailor shop: Ladies may have a fit upstairs.
In a Rhodes tailor shop: Order your summers suit. Because is big rush we will execute customers in strict rotation.
In an East African newspaper: A new swimming pool is rapidly taking shape since the contractors have thrown in the bulk of their workers.
In a Bangkok dry cleaners: Drop your trousers here for best results.
Outside a Paris dress shop: Dresses for street walking.
In the office of a Roman doctor: Specialist in women and other diseases.
In an Acapulco hotel: The manager has personally passed all the water served here.
In a Tokyo shop: Our nylons cost more than common, but you'll find they are best in the long run.
From a Japanese information booklet about using a hotel air conditioner: Cooles and Heates: If you want just condition of warm in your room, please control yourself.
From a brochure of a car rental firm in Tokyo: When passenger of foot heave in sight, tootle the horn. Trumpet him melodiously at first, but if he still obstacles your passage then tootle him with vigor.
Signs seen in non-English speaking countries?
Very Very Nice
100/100
cant stop laughing keep it up ;-))
Reply:very funny
Reply:I so nearly didn't read them all but I'm glad I did!
Reply:Meet me at the Sha-Tin chinese restaurant in Heathmont Victoria Australia soi we can discuss further.
Reply:Read all of them....and wishing for more!! =)
Reply:I'm in tears! hehehehe, loved the Russian Monastery one! LOL!!
Reply:lol.lol
Reply:Why is it that when i read the funniest jokes in here i have to be in the university computer room. hahahahahaha
I work in an aquarium in Japan and there is this sign next to where they keep the pinguins that says "no flush" hahaha and i once saw a soccer team whose name was "bastards" hahaha
thank you, you made my day. here's your star!
oh and do you mind if i save it for later reference?
thank you
good luck.
Reply:Ha ha ha.!!!
Confusing signs, lol.!!!
Excellent so 10/10.!!!
Cheers Mechelle.!!
Reply:HEhahaha..lololol..wonderful
Reply:lol,
very funny. read it all and hoping you will post more%26gt;
I liked that: todays special: no ice cream ! lol
Reply:first joke already gt me laughing hard
Reply:very funny
Reply:v good
star
Reply:very good.
Reply:lmao have a star
Reply:LOL :)
Reply:hehehe, now i know why i don't go abroad, pmsl
star time
xxxxxxxxxxxx
Reply:Very funny
Reply:Excellent
Reply:hahaha, really funny
but too long, next time divide it into two questions
Reply:tootle him with vigor
/laugh
/cry
/breathe
scooter
A sign posted in Germany's Black Forest: It is strictly forbidden on our black forest camping site that people of different sex, for instance, men and women, live together in one tent unless they are married with each other for that purpuse.
In a Zurich hotel: Because of the impropriety of entertaining guests of the opposite sex in the bedroom, it is suggested that the lobby be used for this purpuse.
In an advertisement by a Hong Kong dentist: Teeth extracted by the latest Methodist.
A translated sentence from a Russian chess book: A lot of water has been passed under the bridge since this variation has been played.
In a Rome laundry: Ladies, leave your clothes here and spend the afternoon having a good time.
In a Czechoslovakian tourist agency: Take one of our horse-driven city tours -- we guarantee no miscarriages.
Advertisement for donkey rides in Thailand: Would you like to ride on your own a*s?
On the tap in a Finnish washroom: To stop the drip, turn c*ck to right.
In the window of a Swedish furrier: Fur coats made for ladies from their own skin.
On the box of a clockwork toy made in Hong Kong: Guaranteed to work throughout its useful life.
Detour sign in Kyushi, Japan: Stop: Drive Sideways.
In a Swiss mountain inn: Special today - no ice cream.
In a Bangkok temple: It is forbidden to enter a woman even foreigner if dressed as a man.
In a Tokyo bar: Special cocktails for the ladies with nuts.
In a Copenhagen airline ticket office: We take your bags and send them in all directions.
On the door of a Moscow hotel room: If this is your first visit to USSR, you are welcome to it.
In a Norwegian cocktail lounge: Ladies are requested not to have children in the bar.
At a Budapest zoo: Please do not feed animals. If you have any suitable food, give it to the guard on duty.
In the office of a Roman doctor: Specialist in women and other diseases.
In a Tokyo hotel: Is forbidden to steal hotel towel please. If you are not person to do such thing is please not to read this notice.
In another Japanese hotel room: Please to bathe inside the tub.
In a Bucharest hotel lobby: The lift is being fixed for the next day. During that time we regret that you will be unbearable.
In a Leipzig elevator: Do not enter backwards, and only when lit up.
In a Belgrade hotel elevator: To move the cabin, push button for wishing floor. If the cabin should enter more persons, each one should press a number of wishing floor. Driving is then going alphabetically by national order.
In a Paris hotel elevator: Please leave your values at the front desk.
In a hotel in Athens: Visitors are expected to complain at the office between the hours of 9 and 11 A.M. daily.
In a Yugoslavian hotel: The flattening of underwear with pleasure is the job of the chambermaid.
In a Japanese hotel: You are invited to take advantage of the chambermaid.
In the lobby of a Moscow hotel across from a Russian Orthodox monastery: You are welcome to visit the cemetery where famous Russian and Soviet composers, artists, and writers are buried daily except Thursday.
Similarly, from the Soviet Weekly: There will be a Moscow Exhibition of Aets by 15,000 Soviet Republic painters and sculptors. These were executed over the past two years.
In an Austrian hotel catering to skiers: Not to perambulate the corridors in the hours of repose in the boots of ascension.
On the menu of a Swiss restaurant: Our wines leave you nothing to hope for.
In the menu of a Polish hotel: Salad a firm's own make; limpid red beet soup with cheesy dumplings in the form of a finger; roasted duck let loose; beef rashers beaten up the country people's fashion.
In a Hong Kong supermarket: For your convenience, we recommend courteous, efficient self-service.
Outside a Hong Kong tailor shop: Ladies may have a fit upstairs.
In a Rhodes tailor shop: Order your summers suit. Because is big rush we will execute customers in strict rotation.
In an East African newspaper: A new swimming pool is rapidly taking shape since the contractors have thrown in the bulk of their workers.
In a Bangkok dry cleaners: Drop your trousers here for best results.
Outside a Paris dress shop: Dresses for street walking.
In the office of a Roman doctor: Specialist in women and other diseases.
In an Acapulco hotel: The manager has personally passed all the water served here.
In a Tokyo shop: Our nylons cost more than common, but you'll find they are best in the long run.
From a Japanese information booklet about using a hotel air conditioner: Cooles and Heates: If you want just condition of warm in your room, please control yourself.
From a brochure of a car rental firm in Tokyo: When passenger of foot heave in sight, tootle the horn. Trumpet him melodiously at first, but if he still obstacles your passage then tootle him with vigor.
Signs seen in non-English speaking countries?
Very Very Nice
100/100
cant stop laughing keep it up ;-))
Reply:very funny
Reply:I so nearly didn't read them all but I'm glad I did!
Reply:Meet me at the Sha-Tin chinese restaurant in Heathmont Victoria Australia soi we can discuss further.
Reply:Read all of them....and wishing for more!! =)
Reply:I'm in tears! hehehehe, loved the Russian Monastery one! LOL!!
Reply:lol.lol
Reply:Why is it that when i read the funniest jokes in here i have to be in the university computer room. hahahahahaha
I work in an aquarium in Japan and there is this sign next to where they keep the pinguins that says "no flush" hahaha and i once saw a soccer team whose name was "bastards" hahaha
thank you, you made my day. here's your star!
oh and do you mind if i save it for later reference?
thank you
good luck.
Reply:Ha ha ha.!!!
Confusing signs, lol.!!!
Excellent so 10/10.!!!
Cheers Mechelle.!!
Reply:HEhahaha..lololol..wonderful
Reply:lol,
very funny. read it all and hoping you will post more%26gt;
I liked that: todays special: no ice cream ! lol
Reply:first joke already gt me laughing hard
Reply:very funny
Reply:v good
star
Reply:very good.
Reply:lmao have a star
Reply:LOL :)
Reply:hehehe, now i know why i don't go abroad, pmsl
star time
xxxxxxxxxxxx
Reply:Very funny
Reply:Excellent
Reply:hahaha, really funny
but too long, next time divide it into two questions
Reply:tootle him with vigor
/laugh
/cry
/breathe
scooter
What do you do when police harass you 4 over ten years,plus,extort,falsely ac use,and judges back them up.?
police ann arbor,washtenaw county.ypsilanti,and packard,have given me $20,000 plus,in driving tickets.repeatedly pull me over,15 times a month,in ten years.i quit driving and started walking,yes tickets walking.6years i rode a mountain bike,and yes tickets.3no head light ,ridding on the wrong side of rode 3am,making right turn in left lane,2 running red light,4 different mountain bikes,took by police,and even my timberlin boots on christmass night in michigan was taken,and was made to walk in the night barefoot in the cold wet snow.now all this is recent. i am not a criminal nor ever was or will be.they follow me when i go to work tell my employers to fire me.i had more guns pointed in my face by police and i ask if i am violated,then when do i get to fight for my life .and can i declare war on a county who chooses to end my life,when every day i try live to make a life .
What do you do when police harass you 4 over ten years,plus,extort,falsely ac use,and judges back them up.?
I'm guessing that your life is a never ending effort to piss people off. I suspect you can't go 5 minutes without deliberately trying to piss someone off.
And yes, you sound like a criminal to me.
Reply:Like the police have nothing better to do than just harass you. Obviously you just can't stop breaking the law.
Funny, I never have these problems....oh wait! I don't break the law! AMAZING!
Reply:Well, did you/were you breaking laws when they stopped you? Some of the things you listed for the mountain bike ARE in fact illegal. If they cite you for something, get it up to law specifics (get the light, etc.).
If you feel you are being wronged, I would speak to a lawyer. Or maybe contact the ACLU. But otherwise, you really need to follow the laws.
For the car: if you are a known speeder, and a cop runs your plates and finds that out, of course they are going to pull you over and cite you for speeding (if you are even a little). They sit in traffic and randomly run plates for a reason.
For the bike: All that you listed, you were breaking the law. You on a bike have most of the same laws as a car. You have to have lights on the bike for night riding, you have to ride on the side with traffic, not into oncoming traffic, and you have to make turns in the proper lanes of traffic. If you are in the left turn lane, you must turn left. If you were in a car, you would have to - why is a bike different?? And on a bike you do have to stop at all red lights. I had a friend stopped on his mountain bike for speeding (in a posted 25 mph zone). You HAVE to follow the traffic laws on ANY vehicle - bike, motorcycle, scooter, car, truck, etc.
Personally (and I know I don't know all of the facts - so don't send me any nastygrams about it) from what you listed here, you are just an unlucky law breaker that always gets caught. But if you feel wronged, call a lawyer. Be ready to prove your accusations.
Reply:Evidently they feel that you have been doing bad things and continue to catch you doing wrong. Maybe you should familiarize yourself to the laws in your area before doing anything. Riding the wrong way on a road can get you killed, driving erratically or speeding will get you pulled over as well as operating a vehicle with unsafe equipement. You may be stretching your suspicions abit by thinking they ended your job. You probably violated a few rules there too.
Reply:A.C.L.U. is a good start
Reply:Move to Mayberry! Andy and I wouldn't treat you like that!
Reply:victim
Reply:Move
Reply:STOP BREAKING THE LAW!
Reply:Get evidence, document it heavily, get as many eyewitnesses or video tapes as you can where they are cleary committing the said accusations.
Then contact Internal affairs.
Reply:If you are serious about this. Get people to follow you and record these occurrences...something does not sound right. Either you are lie or you are doing something to attract their attention that causes them to do this.
Reply:I'd move or stop violating laws!
Reply:Well, if you keep breaking the law, then yes, you are a criminal. It might come as a shock to you, but something as simple as running a red light, IS against the law. If you break the law, technically, that makes you a criminal.
It sounds to me like all the tickets you've been given have been justified from what you've said. I can't figure out why they would take your boots though.
I have a suggestion: Learn your rights. That's a great place to start. Get your butt in a college classroom teaching Constitutional Law.
Also, stop breaking the law. When the police stop you, be polite. Your attitude makes a difference in your interaction with police. The police CANNOT stop you without reasonable suspicion that a crime has occured, is about to occur or is occurring. 15 times in a month leads me to believe that you are probably a bad driver. I would also venture to guess that you live in a small town. A very small town. But 1800 times? You're trying to tell us that you were pulled over 1800 times in 10 years? And you didn't do anything wrong? Do you have proof that they are telling your employer to fire you? If so, take it to your county prosecutor, along with your other complaints.
I find your story highly exaggerated and very difficult to believe. My guess is that your interaction with police is brought on by yourself. Behave yourself and you should be fine. YES, when you're on a bike you still have to obey the traffic laws!
Reply:You don't deny doing these things. I mean, if you turned left from the right hand lane at 3am, that is a ticket able offense.
How many DUI's???
Reply:move
Reply:Welcome to every black mans reality.
sweating
What do you do when police harass you 4 over ten years,plus,extort,falsely ac use,and judges back them up.?
I'm guessing that your life is a never ending effort to piss people off. I suspect you can't go 5 minutes without deliberately trying to piss someone off.
And yes, you sound like a criminal to me.
Reply:Like the police have nothing better to do than just harass you. Obviously you just can't stop breaking the law.
Funny, I never have these problems....oh wait! I don't break the law! AMAZING!
Reply:Well, did you/were you breaking laws when they stopped you? Some of the things you listed for the mountain bike ARE in fact illegal. If they cite you for something, get it up to law specifics (get the light, etc.).
If you feel you are being wronged, I would speak to a lawyer. Or maybe contact the ACLU. But otherwise, you really need to follow the laws.
For the car: if you are a known speeder, and a cop runs your plates and finds that out, of course they are going to pull you over and cite you for speeding (if you are even a little). They sit in traffic and randomly run plates for a reason.
For the bike: All that you listed, you were breaking the law. You on a bike have most of the same laws as a car. You have to have lights on the bike for night riding, you have to ride on the side with traffic, not into oncoming traffic, and you have to make turns in the proper lanes of traffic. If you are in the left turn lane, you must turn left. If you were in a car, you would have to - why is a bike different?? And on a bike you do have to stop at all red lights. I had a friend stopped on his mountain bike for speeding (in a posted 25 mph zone). You HAVE to follow the traffic laws on ANY vehicle - bike, motorcycle, scooter, car, truck, etc.
Personally (and I know I don't know all of the facts - so don't send me any nastygrams about it) from what you listed here, you are just an unlucky law breaker that always gets caught. But if you feel wronged, call a lawyer. Be ready to prove your accusations.
Reply:Evidently they feel that you have been doing bad things and continue to catch you doing wrong. Maybe you should familiarize yourself to the laws in your area before doing anything. Riding the wrong way on a road can get you killed, driving erratically or speeding will get you pulled over as well as operating a vehicle with unsafe equipement. You may be stretching your suspicions abit by thinking they ended your job. You probably violated a few rules there too.
Reply:A.C.L.U. is a good start
Reply:Move to Mayberry! Andy and I wouldn't treat you like that!
Reply:victim
Reply:Move
Reply:STOP BREAKING THE LAW!
Reply:Get evidence, document it heavily, get as many eyewitnesses or video tapes as you can where they are cleary committing the said accusations.
Then contact Internal affairs.
Reply:If you are serious about this. Get people to follow you and record these occurrences...something does not sound right. Either you are lie or you are doing something to attract their attention that causes them to do this.
Reply:I'd move or stop violating laws!
Reply:Well, if you keep breaking the law, then yes, you are a criminal. It might come as a shock to you, but something as simple as running a red light, IS against the law. If you break the law, technically, that makes you a criminal.
It sounds to me like all the tickets you've been given have been justified from what you've said. I can't figure out why they would take your boots though.
I have a suggestion: Learn your rights. That's a great place to start. Get your butt in a college classroom teaching Constitutional Law.
Also, stop breaking the law. When the police stop you, be polite. Your attitude makes a difference in your interaction with police. The police CANNOT stop you without reasonable suspicion that a crime has occured, is about to occur or is occurring. 15 times in a month leads me to believe that you are probably a bad driver. I would also venture to guess that you live in a small town. A very small town. But 1800 times? You're trying to tell us that you were pulled over 1800 times in 10 years? And you didn't do anything wrong? Do you have proof that they are telling your employer to fire you? If so, take it to your county prosecutor, along with your other complaints.
I find your story highly exaggerated and very difficult to believe. My guess is that your interaction with police is brought on by yourself. Behave yourself and you should be fine. YES, when you're on a bike you still have to obey the traffic laws!
Reply:You don't deny doing these things. I mean, if you turned left from the right hand lane at 3am, that is a ticket able offense.
How many DUI's???
Reply:move
Reply:Welcome to every black mans reality.
sweating
Why is it that........?
People that live in the city make fun off people that live in the country? City people hate country music, but watch cmtv, buy wal mart cowboy boots, and go to a local bar and line dance? (Even though real cowboys hate cmtv now) Its not country anymore, they call it rap/country. Now dont get me wrong, I teach city people how to ride, but they think country people are all hoosiers! And yes, I take there money! But, come on folks, if your gonna line dance, wich men shouldnt do that, its a spectator sport for cowboys, why do you want to be like us on a Saturday night? Dont you think we notice that your boots never been off the black top? But your cowboys at the bar? No hard feelings, but I bet I I opened a whole new can of worms... And yes, pro bull riders, ropers hate Timmy McGraw. He is a good singer though, but is he country? Take care evryone!
Why is it that........?
What part of the world are you from? Why do you set classifications for people, we are living in the year 2007 if you aren't aware. I've lived in the country, I've lived in large cities, I've lived in small towns and I have yet to meet a real cowboy, are you a real cowboy? I also have never met an individual who listens to country, watches cmtv, wears cowboy boots besides halloween and who goes out in public trying to line dance. Do real cowboys have internet access? Don't you make your own buckskins and eat beans over a fire and at night sleep under the stars?? If you go to Walmart do you think us city folks would think you are a poser? No, you know why, because we are too busy working and dealing with our families to care. As far line dancing and country music, I hate both it is not my taste and am really surprised people still listen to the stuff. But if someone wanted to it is there choice as we live in America and they are doing it because they like to do it and not to try to be like you.
sunburn
Why is it that........?
What part of the world are you from? Why do you set classifications for people, we are living in the year 2007 if you aren't aware. I've lived in the country, I've lived in large cities, I've lived in small towns and I have yet to meet a real cowboy, are you a real cowboy? I also have never met an individual who listens to country, watches cmtv, wears cowboy boots besides halloween and who goes out in public trying to line dance. Do real cowboys have internet access? Don't you make your own buckskins and eat beans over a fire and at night sleep under the stars?? If you go to Walmart do you think us city folks would think you are a poser? No, you know why, because we are too busy working and dealing with our families to care. As far line dancing and country music, I hate both it is not my taste and am really surprised people still listen to the stuff. But if someone wanted to it is there choice as we live in America and they are doing it because they like to do it and not to try to be like you.
sunburn
Motorbike gear changes?
Sound like a stupid question? I've been riding for just a few months, and one of the reasons I decided to ride in the first place was the involvement with the machine that, something you don't get with the average car.
So after experiencing the English winter commute (mpt as bad as I thought it'd be), I've started wondering about my gear changes. To cut this short, what constitutes 'bad' gear changing, accelerating quickly and slowing down?
For example, how much damage am I doing if I kill the throttle, slam the clutch open, knock the gear up (firmly and quickly but not harsh, more a flick of the boot than a kick) then drop the clutch as I yank back on the throttle (all very quickly)?
And for decelerating, how essential is it to blip the throttle as I slow down, or is it fine to just slowly engage the clutch each time I drop down a gear while braking?
I know the idea is to match engine speed with each gear change, but is that for smoothness, or for bike health?
Cheers
Motorbike gear changes?
Sounds like your doing it right to me. A fast shift (.4 of a second or less) is actually one of the smoothest ways to shift since your revs never even have the chance to drop therefore requiring no blip at all and there will also be virtually no clutch slippage. Truth be told though the smoothest, least damaging way to upshift is actually a well executed clutchless quick shift. What you do is put some pressure on the shifter not enough to put it in gear but enough where you feel it start to move slightly than gently roll off the throttle and the shifter should move automatically under the pressure you were applying with your foot the whole time. This method results in absolutely no drive lash, no clutch slippage, and no stress on the gearbox. However you must make sure your doing it right or you will problems in the worst way and DO NOT use this method to downshift ONLY upshift this way.
Reply:Blipping the throttle on decelorating is only ness when your changing down gears quick and need to match the revs to the low gear for a smooth change. Sometimes i will change down gear at the right time by letting the bike slowdown on a closed throttle, and the engine will naturally increase revs as i go down from say 3rd to 2nd.
matching is for both smoothness and the bikes health as clunky gear changes that lock up the back wheel or cause the motor to go well intot he red line isnt good.
Reply:Drive it like a car
First pull in the clutch, select first gear, pull the revs up slightly, disengage/release the clutch slowly, and away you go,
Change up gear by releasing the throttle pulling in the clutch, move up the gear releasing the clutch pull back the throttle (keep doing this until you are in top gear)
when slowing down, let go of the throttle pull in clutch, drop down gear, release clutch (SLOWLY) keep doing this whilst breaking or until you are in a low gear ie: 1st or 2ND then if you come to a stop start from the start again
Best of luck
Reply:Why not get a power commander with a quick shifter that allows for clutchless up shifts without losing power.
Reply:Depends a lot on your bike, but I have had Suzukis and you don't need the clutch at all going up the 'box just flick the throttle closed and snick the gear up, then power back on. coming down the box let the baby rev - but not into the red. you don't need to blip the throttle at all because it's generally a synchromesh 'box these days. My best advice to you is to ride as smoothly as possible at all times, yeah you can give it a handfull of throttle just apply it smoothly, same goes for braking give yourself as much time as possible - harsh braking won't do much for your tyres and you only have 2 in contact with the road (at least I hope you have)
Reply:Smooth smooth smooth. Otherwise you will wear the clutch out, front and rear sprockets, chain, tyres, and cost you a fortune.
If you don't learn to ride smoothly, sooner or later your will hit a patch of ice or diesel and finish up following the bike up the road until you catch it up and OUCH.
Ripping the throttle open also rips you're tyres to bits, so unless you have a shed load of dosh to chuck away, try a bit harder to get it right. A.P.
Reply:Varies- I used to race a Bultaco where I only used the clutch for starting off. Poor bike- I'd be winding up third gear and just as I hit that hard left turn, I'd stomp the shifter into second. The engine would overspeed and sometimes the chain came off, but I never hurt the transmission.
Other bikes might be less robust, so it's hard to say what you're doing. Most modern bikes have synchro-mesh mechanisms that allow you to shift into a gear without matching the engine speed precisely.
What matters to the rider is the consequences of *not* matching speed. If you are going a bit fast, downshift and and let the clutch out quickly, you run a slight risk of losing traction on the back wheel. Not good, unless that's what you want to do. If you shift up too soon, you will lug the motor, but probably not lose traction.
Good question. I think good bikesmanship is about being smooth, not so much about driving hard or easy.
If you're a winter biker, good on ya!!
Reply:Hmm, bear in mind that if you are riding a V-twin, if you do change down when the engine speed is too fast, you run a higher risk of locking up the back wheel than if you were riding a 4 cyclinder/multi-cylinder bike.
Rubber side down!!!
skin rashes
So after experiencing the English winter commute (mpt as bad as I thought it'd be), I've started wondering about my gear changes. To cut this short, what constitutes 'bad' gear changing, accelerating quickly and slowing down?
For example, how much damage am I doing if I kill the throttle, slam the clutch open, knock the gear up (firmly and quickly but not harsh, more a flick of the boot than a kick) then drop the clutch as I yank back on the throttle (all very quickly)?
And for decelerating, how essential is it to blip the throttle as I slow down, or is it fine to just slowly engage the clutch each time I drop down a gear while braking?
I know the idea is to match engine speed with each gear change, but is that for smoothness, or for bike health?
Cheers
Motorbike gear changes?
Sounds like your doing it right to me. A fast shift (.4 of a second or less) is actually one of the smoothest ways to shift since your revs never even have the chance to drop therefore requiring no blip at all and there will also be virtually no clutch slippage. Truth be told though the smoothest, least damaging way to upshift is actually a well executed clutchless quick shift. What you do is put some pressure on the shifter not enough to put it in gear but enough where you feel it start to move slightly than gently roll off the throttle and the shifter should move automatically under the pressure you were applying with your foot the whole time. This method results in absolutely no drive lash, no clutch slippage, and no stress on the gearbox. However you must make sure your doing it right or you will problems in the worst way and DO NOT use this method to downshift ONLY upshift this way.
Reply:Blipping the throttle on decelorating is only ness when your changing down gears quick and need to match the revs to the low gear for a smooth change. Sometimes i will change down gear at the right time by letting the bike slowdown on a closed throttle, and the engine will naturally increase revs as i go down from say 3rd to 2nd.
matching is for both smoothness and the bikes health as clunky gear changes that lock up the back wheel or cause the motor to go well intot he red line isnt good.
Reply:Drive it like a car
First pull in the clutch, select first gear, pull the revs up slightly, disengage/release the clutch slowly, and away you go,
Change up gear by releasing the throttle pulling in the clutch, move up the gear releasing the clutch pull back the throttle (keep doing this until you are in top gear)
when slowing down, let go of the throttle pull in clutch, drop down gear, release clutch (SLOWLY) keep doing this whilst breaking or until you are in a low gear ie: 1st or 2ND then if you come to a stop start from the start again
Best of luck
Reply:Why not get a power commander with a quick shifter that allows for clutchless up shifts without losing power.
Reply:Depends a lot on your bike, but I have had Suzukis and you don't need the clutch at all going up the 'box just flick the throttle closed and snick the gear up, then power back on. coming down the box let the baby rev - but not into the red. you don't need to blip the throttle at all because it's generally a synchromesh 'box these days. My best advice to you is to ride as smoothly as possible at all times, yeah you can give it a handfull of throttle just apply it smoothly, same goes for braking give yourself as much time as possible - harsh braking won't do much for your tyres and you only have 2 in contact with the road (at least I hope you have)
Reply:Smooth smooth smooth. Otherwise you will wear the clutch out, front and rear sprockets, chain, tyres, and cost you a fortune.
If you don't learn to ride smoothly, sooner or later your will hit a patch of ice or diesel and finish up following the bike up the road until you catch it up and OUCH.
Ripping the throttle open also rips you're tyres to bits, so unless you have a shed load of dosh to chuck away, try a bit harder to get it right. A.P.
Reply:Varies- I used to race a Bultaco where I only used the clutch for starting off. Poor bike- I'd be winding up third gear and just as I hit that hard left turn, I'd stomp the shifter into second. The engine would overspeed and sometimes the chain came off, but I never hurt the transmission.
Other bikes might be less robust, so it's hard to say what you're doing. Most modern bikes have synchro-mesh mechanisms that allow you to shift into a gear without matching the engine speed precisely.
What matters to the rider is the consequences of *not* matching speed. If you are going a bit fast, downshift and and let the clutch out quickly, you run a slight risk of losing traction on the back wheel. Not good, unless that's what you want to do. If you shift up too soon, you will lug the motor, but probably not lose traction.
Good question. I think good bikesmanship is about being smooth, not so much about driving hard or easy.
If you're a winter biker, good on ya!!
Reply:Hmm, bear in mind that if you are riding a V-twin, if you do change down when the engine speed is too fast, you run a higher risk of locking up the back wheel than if you were riding a 4 cyclinder/multi-cylinder bike.
Rubber side down!!!
skin rashes
Signs Written in English Discovered Around the World?
Willys cynical thought for the fugging day;
Fool's love their jobs; but jobs love the freaking fools even more!
Signs Written in English Discovered Around the World (some of these are pretty funny.)
On a French passenger jet:
Live West under Your Seat.
In a Tokyo hotel:
Is forbidden to steal hotel towels please. If you are not a person to do such thing is please not to read notis.
In a Bucharest hotel lobby:
The lift is being fixed for the next day. During that time we regret that you will be unbearable.
In a Leipzig elevator:
Do not enter the lift backwards, and only when lit up.
In a Belgrade hotel elevator:
Please leave your values at the front desk.
In a hotel in Athens:
Visitors are expected to complain at the office between the hours of 9 and 11 a.m. daily.
In a Yugoslav hotel:
The flattening of underwear with pleasure is the job of the chambermaid.
In a Japanese hotel:
You are invited to take advantage of the chambermaid.
In the lobby of a Moscow hotel across from a Russian Monastery:
You are welcome to visit the cemetery where famous Russian and Soviet composers, artists, and writers are buried daily except Thursday.
In an Austrian hotel catering to skiers:
Not to perambulate the corridors in the hours of repose in the boots of ascension.
In a Swiss mountain inn:
Special today: no ice cream.
On the menu of a Swiss restaurant:
Our wines leave you nothing to hope for.
On the menu of a Polish hotel:
Salad a firm's own make; limpid red beet soup with cheesy dumplings in the form of a finger; roasted duck let loose; beef rashers beaten up in the country people's fashion.
Alongside a Hong Kong tailor shop:
Ladies may have a fit upstairs.
Two signs from a Mallorcan shop entrance:
English well talking. Here speeching American.
At a Bangkok dry cleaners:
Drop your trousers here for best results.
Outside a Paris dress shop:
Dresses for street walking.
Advertisement for donkey rides in Thailand:
Would you like to ride on your own asz?
At a Rhodes tailor shop:
Order your summer suit. Because is big rush we will execute customers in strict rotation.
Similarly, from the Soviet Weekly:
There will be a Moscow exhibition of arts by 15,000 Soviet Republic painters and sculptors. These were executed over the past two years.
A sign posted in Germany's Black Forest:
It is strictly forbidden on our Black Forest camping site that people of different sex, for instance, men and women, live together in one tent unless they are married with each other for that purpose.
In a Zurich hotel:
Because of the impropriety of entertaining guests of the opposite sex in the bedroom, it is suggested that the lobby be used for this purpose.
In an advertisement by a Hong Kong dentist:
Teeth extracted by the latest Methodists.
In a Rome laundry:
Ladies, leave your clothes here and spend the afternoon having a good time.
In a Norwegian cocktail lounge:
Ladies are requested not to have children in the bar.
At a Budapest zoo:
Please do not feed the animals. If you have any suitable foods, give it to the guard on duty.
At the office of a Rome doctor:
Specialist in women and other diseases.
At an Acapulco hotel:
The manager has personally passed all the water served here.
At a Tokyo shop:
Our nylons cost more than common, but you'll find they are best in the long run.
A Japanese information booklet about using a hotel air conditioner:
Cooles and Heates: If you want just condition of warm in your room, please control yourself.
From a brochure of a car rental firm in Tokyo:
When passenger of foot heave in sight, tootle the horn. Trumpet him melodiously at first, but if he still obstacles your passage, then tootle him with vigor.
In a Bangkok temple:
It is forbidden to enter a woman even a foreigner if dressed as a man.
In a Tokyo bar:
Special cocktails for the ladies with nuts.
In a Copenhagen airline ticket office:
We take your bags and send them in all directions.
On the door of a Moscow hotel room:
If this is your first visit to the USSR, you are welcome to it.
Strange Signs in London
Spotted on a bathroom of an office:
TOILET OUT OF ORDER. PLEASE USE FLOOR BELOW.
In a Laundromat:
AUTOMATIC WASHING MACHINES. PLEASE REMOVE ALL YOUR CLOTHES WHEN THE LIGHT GOES OUT.
In a London department store:
BARGAIN BASEMENT UPSTAIRS
In an office:
WOULD THE PERSON WHO TOOK THE STEP LADDER YESTERDAY PLEASE BRING IT BACK OR FURTHER STEPS WILL BE TAKEN
In an office:
AFTER TEA BREAK STAFF SHOULD EMPTY THE TEAPOT AND STAND UPSIDE DOWN ON THE DRAINING BOARD
Outside a secondhand shop:
WE EXCHANGE ANYTHING - BICYCLES, WASHING MACHINES, ETC. WHY NOT BRING YOUR WIFE ALONG AND GET A WONDERFUL BARGAIN?
Notice in health food shop window:
CLOSED DUE TO ILLNESS
Spotted in a safari park:
ELEPHANTS PLEASE STAY IN YOUR CAR
Seen during a conference:
FOR ANYONE WHO HAS CHILDREN AND DOESN'T KNOW IT, THERE IS A DAY CARE ON THE 1ST FLOOR
Notice in a farmer's field:
THE FARMER ALLOWS WALKERS TO CROSS THE FIELD FOR FREE, BUT THE BULL
CHARGES.
Message on a leaflet:
IF YOU CANNOT READ, THIS LEAFLET WILL TELL YOU HOW TO GET LESSONS
On a repair shop door:
WE CAN REPAIR ANYTHING. (PLEASE KNOCK HARD ON THE DOOR - THE BELL
DOESN'T WORK)
http://www.total-knowledge.com/~willyblu...
Signs Written in English Discovered Around the World?
I don't know where you find these but I will be saving this and sending it to friends. It was even better than the facts about the pig yesterday. Thanks for posting this. As far as funny ads go, I get a catalogue in the mail. It advertises "Discreet Massaging Devices To Relieve Feminine Stress, complete with accessories but you gotta get your own batteries. I got a laugh out of that, my favorite fingertip massage device to relive stress has always been a man and they don't need batteries! Thanks W. you make my mornings a little better and ya don't even know.
Reply:The odd one out of course is the Moscow one about burying the composers, artists, and writers which is accurate but outdated, the practice having declined after the fall of the Berlin wall.
Reply:If you haven't seen it before, check out engrish.com
Reply:Those are great!!!
Reply:LOL
Reply:So on Fridays does the tailor shop execute in random fashion?And just how far can a roast duck go anyhow???
; )
car makes
Fool's love their jobs; but jobs love the freaking fools even more!
Signs Written in English Discovered Around the World (some of these are pretty funny.)
On a French passenger jet:
Live West under Your Seat.
In a Tokyo hotel:
Is forbidden to steal hotel towels please. If you are not a person to do such thing is please not to read notis.
In a Bucharest hotel lobby:
The lift is being fixed for the next day. During that time we regret that you will be unbearable.
In a Leipzig elevator:
Do not enter the lift backwards, and only when lit up.
In a Belgrade hotel elevator:
Please leave your values at the front desk.
In a hotel in Athens:
Visitors are expected to complain at the office between the hours of 9 and 11 a.m. daily.
In a Yugoslav hotel:
The flattening of underwear with pleasure is the job of the chambermaid.
In a Japanese hotel:
You are invited to take advantage of the chambermaid.
In the lobby of a Moscow hotel across from a Russian Monastery:
You are welcome to visit the cemetery where famous Russian and Soviet composers, artists, and writers are buried daily except Thursday.
In an Austrian hotel catering to skiers:
Not to perambulate the corridors in the hours of repose in the boots of ascension.
In a Swiss mountain inn:
Special today: no ice cream.
On the menu of a Swiss restaurant:
Our wines leave you nothing to hope for.
On the menu of a Polish hotel:
Salad a firm's own make; limpid red beet soup with cheesy dumplings in the form of a finger; roasted duck let loose; beef rashers beaten up in the country people's fashion.
Alongside a Hong Kong tailor shop:
Ladies may have a fit upstairs.
Two signs from a Mallorcan shop entrance:
English well talking. Here speeching American.
At a Bangkok dry cleaners:
Drop your trousers here for best results.
Outside a Paris dress shop:
Dresses for street walking.
Advertisement for donkey rides in Thailand:
Would you like to ride on your own asz?
At a Rhodes tailor shop:
Order your summer suit. Because is big rush we will execute customers in strict rotation.
Similarly, from the Soviet Weekly:
There will be a Moscow exhibition of arts by 15,000 Soviet Republic painters and sculptors. These were executed over the past two years.
A sign posted in Germany's Black Forest:
It is strictly forbidden on our Black Forest camping site that people of different sex, for instance, men and women, live together in one tent unless they are married with each other for that purpose.
In a Zurich hotel:
Because of the impropriety of entertaining guests of the opposite sex in the bedroom, it is suggested that the lobby be used for this purpose.
In an advertisement by a Hong Kong dentist:
Teeth extracted by the latest Methodists.
In a Rome laundry:
Ladies, leave your clothes here and spend the afternoon having a good time.
In a Norwegian cocktail lounge:
Ladies are requested not to have children in the bar.
At a Budapest zoo:
Please do not feed the animals. If you have any suitable foods, give it to the guard on duty.
At the office of a Rome doctor:
Specialist in women and other diseases.
At an Acapulco hotel:
The manager has personally passed all the water served here.
At a Tokyo shop:
Our nylons cost more than common, but you'll find they are best in the long run.
A Japanese information booklet about using a hotel air conditioner:
Cooles and Heates: If you want just condition of warm in your room, please control yourself.
From a brochure of a car rental firm in Tokyo:
When passenger of foot heave in sight, tootle the horn. Trumpet him melodiously at first, but if he still obstacles your passage, then tootle him with vigor.
In a Bangkok temple:
It is forbidden to enter a woman even a foreigner if dressed as a man.
In a Tokyo bar:
Special cocktails for the ladies with nuts.
In a Copenhagen airline ticket office:
We take your bags and send them in all directions.
On the door of a Moscow hotel room:
If this is your first visit to the USSR, you are welcome to it.
Strange Signs in London
Spotted on a bathroom of an office:
TOILET OUT OF ORDER. PLEASE USE FLOOR BELOW.
In a Laundromat:
AUTOMATIC WASHING MACHINES. PLEASE REMOVE ALL YOUR CLOTHES WHEN THE LIGHT GOES OUT.
In a London department store:
BARGAIN BASEMENT UPSTAIRS
In an office:
WOULD THE PERSON WHO TOOK THE STEP LADDER YESTERDAY PLEASE BRING IT BACK OR FURTHER STEPS WILL BE TAKEN
In an office:
AFTER TEA BREAK STAFF SHOULD EMPTY THE TEAPOT AND STAND UPSIDE DOWN ON THE DRAINING BOARD
Outside a secondhand shop:
WE EXCHANGE ANYTHING - BICYCLES, WASHING MACHINES, ETC. WHY NOT BRING YOUR WIFE ALONG AND GET A WONDERFUL BARGAIN?
Notice in health food shop window:
CLOSED DUE TO ILLNESS
Spotted in a safari park:
ELEPHANTS PLEASE STAY IN YOUR CAR
Seen during a conference:
FOR ANYONE WHO HAS CHILDREN AND DOESN'T KNOW IT, THERE IS A DAY CARE ON THE 1ST FLOOR
Notice in a farmer's field:
THE FARMER ALLOWS WALKERS TO CROSS THE FIELD FOR FREE, BUT THE BULL
CHARGES.
Message on a leaflet:
IF YOU CANNOT READ, THIS LEAFLET WILL TELL YOU HOW TO GET LESSONS
On a repair shop door:
WE CAN REPAIR ANYTHING. (PLEASE KNOCK HARD ON THE DOOR - THE BELL
DOESN'T WORK)
http://www.total-knowledge.com/~willyblu...
Signs Written in English Discovered Around the World?
I don't know where you find these but I will be saving this and sending it to friends. It was even better than the facts about the pig yesterday. Thanks for posting this. As far as funny ads go, I get a catalogue in the mail. It advertises "Discreet Massaging Devices To Relieve Feminine Stress, complete with accessories but you gotta get your own batteries. I got a laugh out of that, my favorite fingertip massage device to relive stress has always been a man and they don't need batteries! Thanks W. you make my mornings a little better and ya don't even know.
Reply:The odd one out of course is the Moscow one about burying the composers, artists, and writers which is accurate but outdated, the practice having declined after the fall of the Berlin wall.
Reply:If you haven't seen it before, check out engrish.com
Reply:Those are great!!!
Reply:LOL
Reply:So on Fridays does the tailor shop execute in random fashion?And just how far can a roast duck go anyhow???
; )
car makes
Lost in Translation???
In a Bucharest hotel lobby: The lift is being fixed for the day. During that time we regret that you will be unbearable.
In a Leipzig elevator: Do not enter the lift backwards, and only when lit up.
In a Belgrade elevator: To move the cabin, push button for wishing floor. If the cabin should enter more persons, each one should press a number of wishing floor. Driving is then going alphabetically by national order.
In a Paris hotel elevator: Please leave your values at the front desk.
In a hotel in Athens: Visitors are expected to complain at the office between the hours of 9%26amp;11 am daily.
In a Yugoslavian hotel: The flattening of underwear with pleasure is the job of the chambermaid.
In the lobby of a Moscow hotel across from a Russian orthodox Monastery: You are welcome to visit the cemetary where famous Russian and Soviet composers, artists, and writers are buried daily except Thursday.
In an Austrian hotel for skiers: Not to perambulate the corridors in the hours of repose in the boots of ascension.
On a menu in a Swiss restaurant: Our wines leave you nothing to hope for.
On a menu of a Polish hotel: Salad a firm's own make; limpid red beer soup with cheesy dumplings in the form of a finger; roasted duck let loose; beef rashers beaten up in the country people's fashion.
In a Hong Kong supermarket: For your convenience we recommend coourteous, effecient self-service.
In a Bangkok cleaners: Drop your trousers here for best results.
In a Paris dress shop: Dresses for street walking.
In a Hong Kong dress shop: Order your summers suit. Because is big rush we will execute customers in strict rotation.
From the Soviet weekly: There will be a Moscow Exhibition of the Arts by 15,000 Soviet Republic painters and sculptors. These were executed over the past two years.
In an East African newspaper: A new swimming pool is rapidly taking shape since the contractors have thrown in the bulk of their workers.
In a Vienna hotel: In case of fire, do your utmost to alarm the porter.
In Germany's Black Forest: It is strickly forbidden on our Black Forest camping site that people of different sex, for instance, men %26amp; women, live together in one tent unless they are married for that purpose.
An ad by a Hong Kong dentist: Teeth extracted by the latest Methodists.
A Russian chess book: A lot of water has been passed under the bridge since this variation has been played.
In a Rome laundry: Ladies, leave your clothes here and spend the afternoon having a good time.
In a Czech tourist agency: Take one of our horse driven tours--we guarantee no miscarriages.
Ad for donkey rides in Thailand: Would you like to ride your own ***?
On a faucet in a Finnish restroom: To stop the drip, turn cock to right.
In the window of a Swedish furrier: Fur coats made for the ladies from their own skin.
On a box of a clockwork toy in Hong Kong: Guaranteed to work throughout its useful life.
Detour sign in Kyushi, Japan: Stop--Drive sideways.
Swiss mountain inn: Special today--no ice cream.
Bangkok temple: It is forbidden to enter a woman even a foreigner if dressed like a man.
Tokyo bar: Special cocktail for the ladies with nuts.
Copenhagen airline ticket office: We take your bags and send them in all directions.
Moscow hotel room: If this is your first visit to the USSR, you are welcome to it.
Norwegian cocktail lounge: Ladies are requested not to have children in the bar.
Budapest zoo: Please do not feed the animals. If you have any suitable food, give it to the guard on duty.
Office of a Roman doctor: Specialist in women and other diseases.
Acapulco hotel: The manager has personally passed all the water served here.
Tokyo shop: Our nylons cost more than common, but you'll find that they are best in the long run.
Japanese instructions on an air conditioner: Cooles %26amp; Heates. If you want just condition of warm in your room, please control yourself.
Car rental brochure in Tokyo: When passenger of foot heave in sight, tootle the horn. Trumpet him melodiously at first, but if he still obstacles your passage then tootle him with vigor.
Two signs from a Majorcan shop entrance: English well talking; Here speeching American.
A sign on the lion cage at a zoo in the Czech Republic: No smoothen the lion.
A Finnish hotel's instructions in case of fire: If you are unable to leave your room, expose yourself in the window.
A notice in a Japanese hotel: Please not to steal towels. If you are not person to do such, please not to read notice.
Lost in Translation???
Yes, there are hundreds of these mistranslations. When we learn a second language, we need to understand the core meaning and be careful not to translate word for word. This latter type of translation is impossible, if we wish to convey meaning.
Reply:Super! I loved them. They cracked me up.
Reply:lol. go russia..
Reply:That's hilarious!!!! ha ha
Yes.. that happens.. it's really funny. Thanks for the laugh!
.
Reply:Thanks for sharing this. This is hilarious! I'm going to e-mail it to a good friend who I know will get a kick out of it.
I like the Acapulco "passed the water" one.
flower
In a Leipzig elevator: Do not enter the lift backwards, and only when lit up.
In a Belgrade elevator: To move the cabin, push button for wishing floor. If the cabin should enter more persons, each one should press a number of wishing floor. Driving is then going alphabetically by national order.
In a Paris hotel elevator: Please leave your values at the front desk.
In a hotel in Athens: Visitors are expected to complain at the office between the hours of 9%26amp;11 am daily.
In a Yugoslavian hotel: The flattening of underwear with pleasure is the job of the chambermaid.
In the lobby of a Moscow hotel across from a Russian orthodox Monastery: You are welcome to visit the cemetary where famous Russian and Soviet composers, artists, and writers are buried daily except Thursday.
In an Austrian hotel for skiers: Not to perambulate the corridors in the hours of repose in the boots of ascension.
On a menu in a Swiss restaurant: Our wines leave you nothing to hope for.
On a menu of a Polish hotel: Salad a firm's own make; limpid red beer soup with cheesy dumplings in the form of a finger; roasted duck let loose; beef rashers beaten up in the country people's fashion.
In a Hong Kong supermarket: For your convenience we recommend coourteous, effecient self-service.
In a Bangkok cleaners: Drop your trousers here for best results.
In a Paris dress shop: Dresses for street walking.
In a Hong Kong dress shop: Order your summers suit. Because is big rush we will execute customers in strict rotation.
From the Soviet weekly: There will be a Moscow Exhibition of the Arts by 15,000 Soviet Republic painters and sculptors. These were executed over the past two years.
In an East African newspaper: A new swimming pool is rapidly taking shape since the contractors have thrown in the bulk of their workers.
In a Vienna hotel: In case of fire, do your utmost to alarm the porter.
In Germany's Black Forest: It is strickly forbidden on our Black Forest camping site that people of different sex, for instance, men %26amp; women, live together in one tent unless they are married for that purpose.
An ad by a Hong Kong dentist: Teeth extracted by the latest Methodists.
A Russian chess book: A lot of water has been passed under the bridge since this variation has been played.
In a Rome laundry: Ladies, leave your clothes here and spend the afternoon having a good time.
In a Czech tourist agency: Take one of our horse driven tours--we guarantee no miscarriages.
Ad for donkey rides in Thailand: Would you like to ride your own ***?
On a faucet in a Finnish restroom: To stop the drip, turn cock to right.
In the window of a Swedish furrier: Fur coats made for the ladies from their own skin.
On a box of a clockwork toy in Hong Kong: Guaranteed to work throughout its useful life.
Detour sign in Kyushi, Japan: Stop--Drive sideways.
Swiss mountain inn: Special today--no ice cream.
Bangkok temple: It is forbidden to enter a woman even a foreigner if dressed like a man.
Tokyo bar: Special cocktail for the ladies with nuts.
Copenhagen airline ticket office: We take your bags and send them in all directions.
Moscow hotel room: If this is your first visit to the USSR, you are welcome to it.
Norwegian cocktail lounge: Ladies are requested not to have children in the bar.
Budapest zoo: Please do not feed the animals. If you have any suitable food, give it to the guard on duty.
Office of a Roman doctor: Specialist in women and other diseases.
Acapulco hotel: The manager has personally passed all the water served here.
Tokyo shop: Our nylons cost more than common, but you'll find that they are best in the long run.
Japanese instructions on an air conditioner: Cooles %26amp; Heates. If you want just condition of warm in your room, please control yourself.
Car rental brochure in Tokyo: When passenger of foot heave in sight, tootle the horn. Trumpet him melodiously at first, but if he still obstacles your passage then tootle him with vigor.
Two signs from a Majorcan shop entrance: English well talking; Here speeching American.
A sign on the lion cage at a zoo in the Czech Republic: No smoothen the lion.
A Finnish hotel's instructions in case of fire: If you are unable to leave your room, expose yourself in the window.
A notice in a Japanese hotel: Please not to steal towels. If you are not person to do such, please not to read notice.
Lost in Translation???
Yes, there are hundreds of these mistranslations. When we learn a second language, we need to understand the core meaning and be careful not to translate word for word. This latter type of translation is impossible, if we wish to convey meaning.
Reply:Super! I loved them. They cracked me up.
Reply:lol. go russia..
Reply:That's hilarious!!!! ha ha
Yes.. that happens.. it's really funny. Thanks for the laugh!
.
Reply:Thanks for sharing this. This is hilarious! I'm going to e-mail it to a good friend who I know will get a kick out of it.
I like the Acapulco "passed the water" one.
flower
All who intend to go skiing,,,,,,,,,'SKI SEASON WARM-UP'.......do warm up with stars if it works?
• Visit your local butcher and pay $30 to sit in the walk- in freezer for half an hour. Afterwards, burn two $50 dollar bills to warm up.
• Go to the nearest hockey rink and walk across the ice 20 times in your ski boots carrying two pairs of skis, accessory bag and poles. Pretend you are looking for your car.
•For ski boot simulation at home, put a pebble in each of your street shoes and tighten a C-clamps around your toes.
• Buy a pair of gloves and immediately throw one away.
• Go to McDonald's and insist on paying $6.50 for a hamburger. Be sure to wait in the longest line.
• Clip a lift ticket to the zipper of your jacket and ride a motorcycle fast enough to make the ticket lacerate your face.
• Drive slowly for five hours - anywhere - as long as it's in a snowstorm and you're following an 18 wheeler.
• Fill a blender with ice, hit the pulse button and let the spray blast your face. You'd almost believe you're skiing in front of a snowmaker!
All who intend to go skiing,,,,,,,,,'SKI SEASON WARM-UP'.......do warm up with stars if it works?
Hmmm....might try that before going skiing next time, at least I'll be prepared!
car audio
• Go to the nearest hockey rink and walk across the ice 20 times in your ski boots carrying two pairs of skis, accessory bag and poles. Pretend you are looking for your car.
•For ski boot simulation at home, put a pebble in each of your street shoes and tighten a C-clamps around your toes.
• Buy a pair of gloves and immediately throw one away.
• Go to McDonald's and insist on paying $6.50 for a hamburger. Be sure to wait in the longest line.
• Clip a lift ticket to the zipper of your jacket and ride a motorcycle fast enough to make the ticket lacerate your face.
• Drive slowly for five hours - anywhere - as long as it's in a snowstorm and you're following an 18 wheeler.
• Fill a blender with ice, hit the pulse button and let the spray blast your face. You'd almost believe you're skiing in front of a snowmaker!
All who intend to go skiing,,,,,,,,,'SKI SEASON WARM-UP'.......do warm up with stars if it works?
Hmmm....might try that before going skiing next time, at least I'll be prepared!
car audio
Inspired by Turdo, I wrote his poem. Do you like it?
*****
Texas flatlands, hot and hard
No place for a man without gun
The west wind blows the dust around
But cactus don’t take notice
Unless the one called Turdo rides along
She’s not an easy target
She pistol whips the varmints
That nip at her silver stirrup boots
Will the dry rivers flow this rainy season
And she whiff’s at the parched, sun baked prairie
She knows it’s time to ride, she knows it’s do or die
As the gallops off, the men mount up behind her
*****
Inspired by Turdo, I wrote his poem. Do you like it?
Bet she likes the part where the men mount up behind her.
%26lt;evil silly grin%26gt;
Reply:I really had no idea she was from Texas!
I am intrigued!
Make sure you take some water, Turdo, sounds dry out there
Since Kumara has set a president.
How come everyone and everything has inspired you. Except me? Hmmmmmm?
Reply:Wow! That is really Turdo...she's no easy target! hee-hee... =)
EDIT: But where's Inspired by Tyler Durden?
Reply:I dunno. Considering Turdo's relationship with Tyler, you might want to draw images from the German Odessa.
Ya know he does kinda look like Otto Scorczeney
mobility scooter
Texas flatlands, hot and hard
No place for a man without gun
The west wind blows the dust around
But cactus don’t take notice
Unless the one called Turdo rides along
She’s not an easy target
She pistol whips the varmints
That nip at her silver stirrup boots
Will the dry rivers flow this rainy season
And she whiff’s at the parched, sun baked prairie
She knows it’s time to ride, she knows it’s do or die
As the gallops off, the men mount up behind her
*****
Inspired by Turdo, I wrote his poem. Do you like it?
Bet she likes the part where the men mount up behind her.
%26lt;evil silly grin%26gt;
Reply:I really had no idea she was from Texas!
I am intrigued!
Make sure you take some water, Turdo, sounds dry out there
Since Kumara has set a president.
How come everyone and everything has inspired you. Except me? Hmmmmmm?
Reply:Wow! That is really Turdo...she's no easy target! hee-hee... =)
EDIT: But where's Inspired by Tyler Durden?
Reply:I dunno. Considering Turdo's relationship with Tyler, you might want to draw images from the German Odessa.
Ya know he does kinda look like Otto Scorczeney
mobility scooter
Who is going to ride to work tommorrow?
Tommorrow is Ride to Work Day (July 18th). Who is going to do it?
http://www.ridetowork.org
Yeah, yeah... I know... go ahead and tell me you are all those hard core and ride to work EVERY day, right??? Then how come statistics show that only 0.12% of the 4% of the population with registered motorcycles actually commute to work?
Make a difference, people, and park that cage already! Put the boot on it.....
Who is going to ride to work tommorrow?
I will definitely ride to work just like I do every day.Then again I do work as a motorcycle messenger so it would be kind of hard to do my job if I didn't ride.
Reply:I guess I'm a 0.12%er.
1 year = 13470 mi. with a 7.5 mile commute.
Statistics and percentages? Don't count on the skewed numbers, partner. 2 are registered to me, but I can only sit on one at a time.
Reply:Im guessing u
Reply:Yup, I will ride tomorrow, just like I do everyday. I ride to and from work during the week, and take long relaxing rides on most weekends. By the way, I've owned 26 bikes in 41 years. The last 5 have all been Harleys, including the 2007 Ultra classic peace officers model I just bought. Does that satisfy your requirements for "hard core rider"? I'd also recheck your figures, your way off on regestered m/c is the U.S.. the percentage of regestered m/c's is more like 23% now.
Reply:If I had a bike I would. Maybe I'll take out my Dad's Heritage Softail. I know he isn't driving to work tommorrow. Here is a star for your question so maybe you can get tons of answers!!
This question should have been put under surveys and polls FYI
Reply:83% of people that put too much faith into statistics spend 11% of their time wondering why 57% of the world does not fit into 99% of reality.
That happens 100% of the time.
Reply:I'll be riding.
thanks for helping to spread the word. It's always fun to see solidarity among riders. Stay safe.
Reply:Whoops. I thought it was today. Oh well.... Guess I'll do it again tomorrow.
Reply:I ride mine 150 miles every day , not hardcore just enjoy the trip
Reply:if i had a bike I would LOVE to ride to work. when i had a bike I used to ride to work every day. throughout winter too.
those of you who will be riding. enjoy, know that I'm jealous !
And for all those who don't have bikes, lets support the bikers and at least be courteous to them, Give em room, keep your eyes open.
T
Reply:i was going to but the selenoid just went on my harley. I really miss those kick starters. Maybe i'll have one installed this winter for backup. Hve a safe ride.
Rich
Reply:I am also part of this 0.12% population who actually uses my motorcycle for practical purposes.
Yes, I have a car, but for my daily commute to work I actually ride my motorcyle. It's much better on the gas than my car and is more fun to ride to work too.
microsoft
http://www.ridetowork.org
Yeah, yeah... I know... go ahead and tell me you are all those hard core and ride to work EVERY day, right??? Then how come statistics show that only 0.12% of the 4% of the population with registered motorcycles actually commute to work?
Make a difference, people, and park that cage already! Put the boot on it.....
Who is going to ride to work tommorrow?
I will definitely ride to work just like I do every day.Then again I do work as a motorcycle messenger so it would be kind of hard to do my job if I didn't ride.
Reply:I guess I'm a 0.12%er.
1 year = 13470 mi. with a 7.5 mile commute.
Statistics and percentages? Don't count on the skewed numbers, partner. 2 are registered to me, but I can only sit on one at a time.
Reply:Im guessing u
Reply:Yup, I will ride tomorrow, just like I do everyday. I ride to and from work during the week, and take long relaxing rides on most weekends. By the way, I've owned 26 bikes in 41 years. The last 5 have all been Harleys, including the 2007 Ultra classic peace officers model I just bought. Does that satisfy your requirements for "hard core rider"? I'd also recheck your figures, your way off on regestered m/c is the U.S.. the percentage of regestered m/c's is more like 23% now.
Reply:If I had a bike I would. Maybe I'll take out my Dad's Heritage Softail. I know he isn't driving to work tommorrow. Here is a star for your question so maybe you can get tons of answers!!
This question should have been put under surveys and polls FYI
Reply:83% of people that put too much faith into statistics spend 11% of their time wondering why 57% of the world does not fit into 99% of reality.
That happens 100% of the time.
Reply:I'll be riding.
thanks for helping to spread the word. It's always fun to see solidarity among riders. Stay safe.
Reply:Whoops. I thought it was today. Oh well.... Guess I'll do it again tomorrow.
Reply:I ride mine 150 miles every day , not hardcore just enjoy the trip
Reply:if i had a bike I would LOVE to ride to work. when i had a bike I used to ride to work every day. throughout winter too.
those of you who will be riding. enjoy, know that I'm jealous !
And for all those who don't have bikes, lets support the bikers and at least be courteous to them, Give em room, keep your eyes open.
T
Reply:i was going to but the selenoid just went on my harley. I really miss those kick starters. Maybe i'll have one installed this winter for backup. Hve a safe ride.
Rich
Reply:I am also part of this 0.12% population who actually uses my motorcycle for practical purposes.
Yes, I have a car, but for my daily commute to work I actually ride my motorcyle. It's much better on the gas than my car and is more fun to ride to work too.
microsoft
Help with homework. Know Geography?
ok. The name of the game is "Where in the world is Louie". It's homework. I was given 3 clues and he can be anywhere in the world based off these clues, but the answer is a specific place. I will give best answer to the first person to get it right for me. Thx
Clue 1: there is a land that is flat, fertile, and vast
with a mix of many cultures and a tumultuous past. beef,leather,and grains are produced on these plains. the freedom loving citizens are hard working and steadfast
Clue 2: there is an unusual creature that calls the Amercas home and carries its three-banded armor, thats shaped like a dome with a rat-like face, it travels a slow pace being a nocturnal mammal, at nite it does roam
Clue 3: a mythical cowboy on this open land rides free and daily drinks Yerba mate, a favorite type of tea a horse, boots, and a knife all brought a quality life for this man of independence, loyalty , and bravery
Help with homework. Know Geography?
%26gt;%26gt;%26gt;%26gt;%26gt;%26gt;%26gt;%26gt;%26gt;%26gt;%26gt;%26gt;%26gt;%26gt;%26gt;
%26gt;%26gt;%26gt;%26gt;%26gt;%26gt;%26gt;%26gt;%26gt;%26gt;%26gt;%26gt;%26gt;%26gt;%26gt;
Mercedes Corrientes, argentina
Gaucho Gil
i am very sure that this is the place
Reply:Texas
Reply:My guess....and caution, I almost flunked geography
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pampa
EDIT. I just googled yerba and got this
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Yerba_mate
I might have guessed right
accessories belts
Clue 1: there is a land that is flat, fertile, and vast
with a mix of many cultures and a tumultuous past. beef,leather,and grains are produced on these plains. the freedom loving citizens are hard working and steadfast
Clue 2: there is an unusual creature that calls the Amercas home and carries its three-banded armor, thats shaped like a dome with a rat-like face, it travels a slow pace being a nocturnal mammal, at nite it does roam
Clue 3: a mythical cowboy on this open land rides free and daily drinks Yerba mate, a favorite type of tea a horse, boots, and a knife all brought a quality life for this man of independence, loyalty , and bravery
Help with homework. Know Geography?
%26gt;%26gt;%26gt;%26gt;%26gt;%26gt;%26gt;%26gt;%26gt;%26gt;%26gt;%26gt;%26gt;%26gt;%26gt;
%26gt;%26gt;%26gt;%26gt;%26gt;%26gt;%26gt;%26gt;%26gt;%26gt;%26gt;%26gt;%26gt;%26gt;%26gt;
Mercedes Corrientes, argentina
Gaucho Gil
i am very sure that this is the place
Reply:Texas
Reply:My guess....and caution, I almost flunked geography
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pampa
EDIT. I just googled yerba and got this
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Yerba_mate
I might have guessed right
accessories belts
Winter weather fashion !?
im going on a ski trip with my class next monday,its for one day, and i want to be really warm and cozy, so im wondering if you think this will keep me warm !
ON TOP:
tank top
henley
sweater
coat
ON BOTTOM:
leggings underneath
track pants underneath
splash pants [try to find cute ones ..]
ON HEAD, HANDS, ECT:
maybe a thin hat [we get a helmet]
blue and cream american eagle scarf
wasterproof gloves over thin mitts
And after, for the bus ride home ..
Cute Jeans
Babydoll
[Sticking with the winter weatrher] cute furry vest
furry boots on my feet :P
And, i am packing a bag, is this good to bring ?
a couple dollars
a couple disposable cameras
change of clothes
snacks
anything else ???
THANKS ! xoxo, megg %26lt;3
Winter weather fashion !?
Yeah, that sounds good!! Bring chapstick and some lotion in your bag too, your skin will get really dried out when you're skiing. =]
Reply:sounds ok
Reply:sounds good:)
accessories belts
ON TOP:
tank top
henley
sweater
coat
ON BOTTOM:
leggings underneath
track pants underneath
splash pants [try to find cute ones ..]
ON HEAD, HANDS, ECT:
maybe a thin hat [we get a helmet]
blue and cream american eagle scarf
wasterproof gloves over thin mitts
And after, for the bus ride home ..
Cute Jeans
Babydoll
[Sticking with the winter weatrher] cute furry vest
furry boots on my feet :P
And, i am packing a bag, is this good to bring ?
a couple dollars
a couple disposable cameras
change of clothes
snacks
anything else ???
THANKS ! xoxo, megg %26lt;3
Winter weather fashion !?
Yeah, that sounds good!! Bring chapstick and some lotion in your bag too, your skin will get really dried out when you're skiing. =]
Reply:sounds ok
Reply:sounds good:)
accessories belts
Is it ok if my snowboard is a couple inches lower than my chin?
The suggested length of a snowboard is to reach your chin from the floor. Now my question is what if i have a snowboard that is a couple inches lower than the suggested? Would it affect the way that i ride?
Also do you know any good sites to purchase nice and cheap boards/boots/bindings?
Is it ok if my snowboard is a couple inches lower than my chin?
It'll be good for park, pipe and groomed trails, but powder will take a little more leg work. Check the-house.com
Reply:if its for park it should be the right length. a park board should come to about your chin. if you want to do freeride you might want to get a larger board.
dogfunk.com has a good selection of board packages, not necessarily the cheapest but not bad.
just look around, play it again sports has nice prices, some even have board and bindings together packages.if you wanna buyonline make sure you try on the stuff before ordering online and make sure the website has a return policy
good luck
http://www.boardsforless.com/index.html
cheap snowboards at the site up above this text
Reply:its OK it is supposed to be easier to learn snowboarding and it is more manuverable
Reply:yes it is ok but u can by gear at sprtchalet.com
interest rate
Also do you know any good sites to purchase nice and cheap boards/boots/bindings?
Is it ok if my snowboard is a couple inches lower than my chin?
It'll be good for park, pipe and groomed trails, but powder will take a little more leg work. Check the-house.com
Reply:if its for park it should be the right length. a park board should come to about your chin. if you want to do freeride you might want to get a larger board.
dogfunk.com has a good selection of board packages, not necessarily the cheapest but not bad.
just look around, play it again sports has nice prices, some even have board and bindings together packages.if you wanna buyonline make sure you try on the stuff before ordering online and make sure the website has a return policy
good luck
http://www.boardsforless.com/index.html
cheap snowboards at the site up above this text
Reply:its OK it is supposed to be easier to learn snowboarding and it is more manuverable
Reply:yes it is ok but u can by gear at sprtchalet.com
interest rate
What is the best brand of motorcycle gear?
I really want something that is not way too heavy and something that is stylish. Like boot cut or just something that does not look so ugly that i don't want to ride my bike because of my riding clothes. I would really like matching pant and jacket.
What is the best brand of motorcycle gear?
"Heavy" also means "armored" and that's what you're looking for. The stuff that's going to look cool to the non-riding public is also frequently not the stuff that's going to protect you in a wipeout. However if you're wearing the kind of stuff that will save your skin you'll get more respect from other riders.
I'll second Ellwood's vote for newenough.com - great people to deal with and you can find some awesome deals in their "closeouts" section.
Reply:I've found some good gear and prices for all types of riding from
www.newenough.com. They sell parts and other cool stuff for
your ride too.
Reply:Whatever fits you best. For example, Icon gloves in a medium size fit me fine, but Joe Rocket gloves, even in a large size, aren't long enough in the fingers.
I have an athletic build, so "American" sizing usually means that jackets are too short in the arms and too fat in the torso. Something with a more "Euro" cut fits me better.
Find what fits you best, because that will protect you the best.
Reply:first off, you didn't say what kind of bike you ride. is it a cruiser? a crotch-rocket?.... makes a huge difference as to what level of protection you need along with what styles are available...
for instance you'd look like a 'tard on a sportbike in your leather vest.
and you'd look like a 'tard on a cruiser with an icon timax jacket.
but... whatever.
like boot cut? puahahah.... the gap and express don't make riding gear yet, bubba.
but i guess if you're solely going to make riding gear a "fashion statement", then iCON definitely has the snazziest goods. their product is 'mostly' looks. it looks good, but i have reservations as to whether or not it would perform. Cuz thats what riding gear is all about. it doesn't matter whether it looks great new. its about how it looks after a crash - did it do a great job protecting your skin?, or did it fall to shreds?
as far as a nice compromise between being lightweight and still highly protective, i would recommend dainese. a little on the pricey side, but worth it.
Reply:ICON makes ok gear. it is usually associated with Young sport riders. ICONs fancy colors and cheap prices appeal to the younger buyers. I myself would not wear it. Once you get past the fancy colors and squid (squarilly kid) atractions it is not that great.
If you want top of the line safety and looks at a good price here is what I recommend.
Helmets - Arai, Suomy, AGV, and Shark.
I have these on sale for 20% off
As for leathers I would go with Alpinestars or a mid grade AGV.
The quality and protection are great.
For what you are asking for (matching pants and jacket) I recommend the MotoGP Apex Pants and Jacket. or one of their other sets. Here is a link to their home page. the guy on the front is wearing the Apex gear - http://www.motogpapparel.com/mgpweb.nsf/...
Another option is the 2-piece stage suit. It is on closeout and you can get a great price on it. They retail for $769.95 but I have them on closeout for $500. Here is a picture - http://www.cyclemartusa.com/productdetai...
If you need help or have questions please call 1-866-204-0942
Cycle Mart USA has the best prices and exchange around. We also are skilled at sizing over the phone.
The Prices I quoted may not be on out site due to pricing restrictions. Please call for the Best prices.
Good gear that I don't sell would be Shoei helmets and SIDI gear.
SIDI has a good reputation but they are very pricey.
Reply:Icon has a stylish matching gear that will cover you from head to toe.
Reply:poser depot has clothes.
Reply:If you can find it Dainese is the clothing of choice for the worlds fastest riders (Moto GP). they do lots of other styles for street wear, it's expensive but the quality is good.
http://www.dainese.com/eng/store_locator...
Hein Gericke is another popular choice, wide range of styles %26amp; prices for different budgets.
No world wide site, put Hein Gericke into google, lots of locations world wide.
skin disease
What is the best brand of motorcycle gear?
"Heavy" also means "armored" and that's what you're looking for. The stuff that's going to look cool to the non-riding public is also frequently not the stuff that's going to protect you in a wipeout. However if you're wearing the kind of stuff that will save your skin you'll get more respect from other riders.
I'll second Ellwood's vote for newenough.com - great people to deal with and you can find some awesome deals in their "closeouts" section.
Reply:I've found some good gear and prices for all types of riding from
www.newenough.com. They sell parts and other cool stuff for
your ride too.
Reply:Whatever fits you best. For example, Icon gloves in a medium size fit me fine, but Joe Rocket gloves, even in a large size, aren't long enough in the fingers.
I have an athletic build, so "American" sizing usually means that jackets are too short in the arms and too fat in the torso. Something with a more "Euro" cut fits me better.
Find what fits you best, because that will protect you the best.
Reply:first off, you didn't say what kind of bike you ride. is it a cruiser? a crotch-rocket?.... makes a huge difference as to what level of protection you need along with what styles are available...
for instance you'd look like a 'tard on a sportbike in your leather vest.
and you'd look like a 'tard on a cruiser with an icon timax jacket.
but... whatever.
like boot cut? puahahah.... the gap and express don't make riding gear yet, bubba.
but i guess if you're solely going to make riding gear a "fashion statement", then iCON definitely has the snazziest goods. their product is 'mostly' looks. it looks good, but i have reservations as to whether or not it would perform. Cuz thats what riding gear is all about. it doesn't matter whether it looks great new. its about how it looks after a crash - did it do a great job protecting your skin?, or did it fall to shreds?
as far as a nice compromise between being lightweight and still highly protective, i would recommend dainese. a little on the pricey side, but worth it.
Reply:ICON makes ok gear. it is usually associated with Young sport riders. ICONs fancy colors and cheap prices appeal to the younger buyers. I myself would not wear it. Once you get past the fancy colors and squid (squarilly kid) atractions it is not that great.
If you want top of the line safety and looks at a good price here is what I recommend.
Helmets - Arai, Suomy, AGV, and Shark.
I have these on sale for 20% off
As for leathers I would go with Alpinestars or a mid grade AGV.
The quality and protection are great.
For what you are asking for (matching pants and jacket) I recommend the MotoGP Apex Pants and Jacket. or one of their other sets. Here is a link to their home page. the guy on the front is wearing the Apex gear - http://www.motogpapparel.com/mgpweb.nsf/...
Another option is the 2-piece stage suit. It is on closeout and you can get a great price on it. They retail for $769.95 but I have them on closeout for $500. Here is a picture - http://www.cyclemartusa.com/productdetai...
If you need help or have questions please call 1-866-204-0942
Cycle Mart USA has the best prices and exchange around. We also are skilled at sizing over the phone.
The Prices I quoted may not be on out site due to pricing restrictions. Please call for the Best prices.
Good gear that I don't sell would be Shoei helmets and SIDI gear.
SIDI has a good reputation but they are very pricey.
Reply:Icon has a stylish matching gear that will cover you from head to toe.
Reply:poser depot has clothes.
Reply:If you can find it Dainese is the clothing of choice for the worlds fastest riders (Moto GP). they do lots of other styles for street wear, it's expensive but the quality is good.
http://www.dainese.com/eng/store_locator...
Hein Gericke is another popular choice, wide range of styles %26amp; prices for different budgets.
No world wide site, put Hein Gericke into google, lots of locations world wide.
skin disease
Ever wanted to annoy everyone at the mall 2?
The sequel, as promised!
My awesome little readers, if you have any ideas on annoyance advice topics, please email them to me!
Here you go!
"Accidentally" get stuck in one of the frozen food doors. Give people strange looks and see if anyone helps you out.
Add really funny things to other peoples’ carts and watch them pay for it and see if they notice.
Around Christmas time, start caroling. Ask for money from the listeners.
As the cashier runs your purchases over the scanner, look mesmerized and say, "Wow. Magic!"
Ask if you can buy a shopping cart.
Attempt to fit into very large gym bags.
Bring a friend and get in a shopping cart. Have them push you around while you yell "ye-haw!"
Buy chrome hubcaps and put them on in the parking lot
Challenge other customers to duels with tubes of gift wrap.
Constantly wink at a person you don't know. Follow them around and blow kisses to them.
Dart around suspiciously while humming the theme from "Mission: Impossible."
Drag a
"Accidentally" get stuck in one of the frozen food doors. Give people strange looks and see if anyone helps you out.
Add really funny things to other peoples’ carts and watch them pay for it and see if they notice.
Around Christmas time, start caroling. Ask for money from the listeners.
As the cashier runs your purchases over the scanner, look mesmerized and say, "Wow. Magic!"
Ask if you can buy a shopping cart.
Attempt to fit into very large gym bags.
Bring a friend and get in a shopping cart. Have them push you around while you yell "ye-haw!"
Buy chrome hubcaps and put them on in the parking lot
Challenge other customers to duels with tubes of gift wrap.
Constantly wink at a person you don't know. Follow them around and blow kisses to them.
Dart around suspiciously while humming the theme from "Mission: Impossible."
Drag a lounge chair on display over to the magazines and relax. If the store has a food court, buy a soft drink; explain that you don't get out much, and ask if they can put a little umbrella in it.
Dress as a Jedi and randomly tell other shoppers in you're best Yoda voice,"May the force be with you".
Everytime you walk out the door (or try waiting by the door for others to walk out), make a dinging noise then say mechanically "We're sorry. You have activated the Wal Mart inventory control service. Please step back and a Wal Mart associate will help you. Thank you."
Fill your shopping cart with matchboxes and gasoline and walk around smiling at people.
Find a parent with her kid in the shopping cart. Point at the kid and ask the parent, "What aisle are they selling these on?"
Follow people through the aisles, always staying about five feet away. Continue to do this until they leave the department.
Gather a bunch of bouncy balls and bounce them into neighboring aisles.
Get 20 people together and play hide-n-go-seek.
Get a dish towel and bucket and sit on the floor singing "It's a hard knock life for us!"
Get a friend, put on as many articles of clothing you can find and start sumo wrestling (use diapers if possible) .
Get a group of friends together and take lawn chairs from the display then rewind the movie playing on the display TV in electronics, sit down and watch the entire thing.
Go into the dressing room and yell real loud... “Hey, we’re out of toilet paper in here!”
Go to the express lane and get an item, and say "wait, I forgot something, and keep doing that until you have like 50, check out, then say "thanks, I forgot how much this costs," and walk away.
Go to the video game section and play one of the games for a minute, then throw down the controller and start to banging on the display case. When an attendant asks you what you are doing tell him your trying to change the game.
Go up to a guy and start crying saying I finally found you mommy! And see what he does!
Go up to someone and start taking items from their basket and put them into yours.
Grab handfulls of super bounce balls and go wild.
Have a couple of friends go with you and dress up as power rangers. Battle the invisible enemy and tell shoppers to stand back.
Hide in the clothing racks and when people browse through, say things like “Pick me! Pick me!!”
Hold indoor shopping cart races.
In the auto department, practice your "Madonna" look with various funnels.
Joust with the electronic assist carts and wrapping paper (they usually won't throw you out)
Leave Cheerios in Lawn and Garden, pillows in the pet food aisle, etc.
Leave cryptic messages on the typewriters.
Look right into the security camera, and use it as a mirror while you pick your nose.
Make a trail of orange juice on the floor, leading to the rest rooms.
Make farting noises as you walk by someone.
Make the entire auto department smell by sampling all the spray air fresheners.
Make up nonsense products and ask newly hired employees if there are any in stock,
i.e., "Do you have any Shnerples here?"
Move "Caution: Wet Floor" signs to carpeted areas.
Nonchalantly "test" the brushes and combs in Cosmetics.
Page yourself and then after the employee says your name, say...“Oh that's me, I've got to go. Thank you.”
Pay off layaways fifty cents at a time.
Play "Marco Polo."
Play blind chicken with 12 friends - put a blind fold on one and them having that
person trying to find you .
Play soccer with a group of friends, using the entire store as your playing field.
Play with the automatic doors.
Play with the calculators so that they all spell "hello" upside down.
Pour bubble bath into the fountains in the garden section.
Put M%26amp;M's on layaway.
Put random items in the shopping carts of others while they aren't looking.
Randomly throw things over into neighboring aisles.
"Re-alphabetize" the CD's in Electronics.
Re-dress the mannequins as you see fit.
Relax in the patio furniture until you get kicked out.
Repeat whatever the store clerk tells you.
Ride a display bicycle through the store; claim you're taking it for a "test drive."
Ride those little electronic cars at the front of the store.
Roll cans of soup down the aisles.
Run around yelling for your pet ferret "Stinky". Check out all the funny looks you get!
Run up to a complete stranger and say "You're it!"
Run up to a new employee in the pet aisle and point to an invisible cash register and say "Hey you! That cash register over there, well um, I think it's magic! It made my little sister (or brother if you have one) disappear!" Wait and see what they say and the expression on their face.
Sample all the fragrances in the perfume department
Set all the alarm clocks to go off at ten minute intervals throughout the day.
Set up a "Valet Parking" sign in front of the store.
Set up a battle of laser tag!
Set up a tent in the camping department; tell others you'll only invite them in if they bring pillows from Bed and Bath.
Set up ten pineapples in the shape of bowling pins and start bowling with a coconut.
Shoot the bungee tops at customers.
Start Humming the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle Theme song. Whenever someone looks at an item near you scream "TUTLE POWER" and run away as fast as you can.
Strategically scatter those novelty dog poops throughout the store and wait for some to announce "cleanup on aisle ..." then yell "BAD FLUFFY!"
Whenever possible, switch the men’s and women’s signs on the doors of the restroom.
Take bets on the battles mentioned above.
Take shopping carts for the express purpose of filling them and stranding them at strategic locations.
Take up an entire aisle in Toys by setting up a full scale battlefield with G.I. Joes vs. the X-Men.
Test the fishing rods and see what you can "catch" from the other aisles.
Throw as many shoes as possible onto the floor in as little time as you can.
TP as much of the store as possible.
Try to fly on a broom. If anyone asks what you are doing tell them in a very annoyed voice, "the brooms don't work!"
Tune all the radios to a polka station; then turn them all off and turn the volumes to "10".
Unload then entire bin of giant bouncy balls, get in the bin, have a friend put all the balls back on top of you. When someone walks by jump outta the balls causing them to fly everywhere.
Walk about 10 centimeters in front of a moving shopping cart and yell "Its gonna get me!"
Walk around in rubber boots, a rain coat, and an umbrella on bright sunny day!
Walk through the store pushing a cart that is upside-down.
Walk up to a person and say I'm the FBI and I heard that you have been shoplifting and we need to check you.
Walk up to an employee and ask where the laxatives are, changing your voice as if you really need it.
Walk up to an employee and tell him in an official tone, "I think we've got a Code 3 in Housewares," and see what happens.
Walk up to complete strangers and say, "Hi! I haven't seen you in so long!..." etc. See if they play along to avoid embarrassment.
Walk up to the automatic doors and walk back and forth through them and each time u go though look up at the sensor and yell "how does it work?” or “ITS MAGIC!"
When someone asks if you need help, begin to cry and ask, "Why won't you people just leave me alone?"
When someone steps away from their cart to look at something quickly make off with it without saying a word.
When someone steps away from their cart to look at something, quickly make off with it without saying a word.
When the speaker/pager deal comes on start mimicking them.
When there are people behind you, walk REALLY SLOW, especially thin narrow aisles.
When two or three people are walking ahead of you, run between them, yelling, "Red Rover!"
While handling guns in the hunting department, suddenly ask the clerk if he knows
where the anti-depressants are. Act as spastic as possible.
While walking alone pretend you are have a serious conversation with someone.
While walking through the clothing department, ask yourself loud enough for all to hear, "Who BUYS this crap, anyway?"
Thanks again for reading, and again, feel free to email! I love hearing your thoughts!!
Kitty XD
Ever wanted to annoy everyone at the mall 2?
dasdasau0fpjui9apncvus89zcvjhnszBN?
asdfsFomjszfig.
zsdfgolm ,pomzfdobm dpzfm,op?
gvdxklznglvfngv?
zSDfdzgbfzbv?
Gv'.;v,.v;V?
vxvpoko;k,pomo?
oki!!!!!!
dog skin problem
My awesome little readers, if you have any ideas on annoyance advice topics, please email them to me!
Here you go!
"Accidentally" get stuck in one of the frozen food doors. Give people strange looks and see if anyone helps you out.
Add really funny things to other peoples’ carts and watch them pay for it and see if they notice.
Around Christmas time, start caroling. Ask for money from the listeners.
As the cashier runs your purchases over the scanner, look mesmerized and say, "Wow. Magic!"
Ask if you can buy a shopping cart.
Attempt to fit into very large gym bags.
Bring a friend and get in a shopping cart. Have them push you around while you yell "ye-haw!"
Buy chrome hubcaps and put them on in the parking lot
Challenge other customers to duels with tubes of gift wrap.
Constantly wink at a person you don't know. Follow them around and blow kisses to them.
Dart around suspiciously while humming the theme from "Mission: Impossible."
Drag a
"Accidentally" get stuck in one of the frozen food doors. Give people strange looks and see if anyone helps you out.
Add really funny things to other peoples’ carts and watch them pay for it and see if they notice.
Around Christmas time, start caroling. Ask for money from the listeners.
As the cashier runs your purchases over the scanner, look mesmerized and say, "Wow. Magic!"
Ask if you can buy a shopping cart.
Attempt to fit into very large gym bags.
Bring a friend and get in a shopping cart. Have them push you around while you yell "ye-haw!"
Buy chrome hubcaps and put them on in the parking lot
Challenge other customers to duels with tubes of gift wrap.
Constantly wink at a person you don't know. Follow them around and blow kisses to them.
Dart around suspiciously while humming the theme from "Mission: Impossible."
Drag a lounge chair on display over to the magazines and relax. If the store has a food court, buy a soft drink; explain that you don't get out much, and ask if they can put a little umbrella in it.
Dress as a Jedi and randomly tell other shoppers in you're best Yoda voice,"May the force be with you".
Everytime you walk out the door (or try waiting by the door for others to walk out), make a dinging noise then say mechanically "We're sorry. You have activated the Wal Mart inventory control service. Please step back and a Wal Mart associate will help you. Thank you."
Fill your shopping cart with matchboxes and gasoline and walk around smiling at people.
Find a parent with her kid in the shopping cart. Point at the kid and ask the parent, "What aisle are they selling these on?"
Follow people through the aisles, always staying about five feet away. Continue to do this until they leave the department.
Gather a bunch of bouncy balls and bounce them into neighboring aisles.
Get 20 people together and play hide-n-go-seek.
Get a dish towel and bucket and sit on the floor singing "It's a hard knock life for us!"
Get a friend, put on as many articles of clothing you can find and start sumo wrestling (use diapers if possible) .
Get a group of friends together and take lawn chairs from the display then rewind the movie playing on the display TV in electronics, sit down and watch the entire thing.
Go into the dressing room and yell real loud... “Hey, we’re out of toilet paper in here!”
Go to the express lane and get an item, and say "wait, I forgot something, and keep doing that until you have like 50, check out, then say "thanks, I forgot how much this costs," and walk away.
Go to the video game section and play one of the games for a minute, then throw down the controller and start to banging on the display case. When an attendant asks you what you are doing tell him your trying to change the game.
Go up to a guy and start crying saying I finally found you mommy! And see what he does!
Go up to someone and start taking items from their basket and put them into yours.
Grab handfulls of super bounce balls and go wild.
Have a couple of friends go with you and dress up as power rangers. Battle the invisible enemy and tell shoppers to stand back.
Hide in the clothing racks and when people browse through, say things like “Pick me! Pick me!!”
Hold indoor shopping cart races.
In the auto department, practice your "Madonna" look with various funnels.
Joust with the electronic assist carts and wrapping paper (they usually won't throw you out)
Leave Cheerios in Lawn and Garden, pillows in the pet food aisle, etc.
Leave cryptic messages on the typewriters.
Look right into the security camera, and use it as a mirror while you pick your nose.
Make a trail of orange juice on the floor, leading to the rest rooms.
Make farting noises as you walk by someone.
Make the entire auto department smell by sampling all the spray air fresheners.
Make up nonsense products and ask newly hired employees if there are any in stock,
i.e., "Do you have any Shnerples here?"
Move "Caution: Wet Floor" signs to carpeted areas.
Nonchalantly "test" the brushes and combs in Cosmetics.
Page yourself and then after the employee says your name, say...“Oh that's me, I've got to go. Thank you.”
Pay off layaways fifty cents at a time.
Play "Marco Polo."
Play blind chicken with 12 friends - put a blind fold on one and them having that
person trying to find you .
Play soccer with a group of friends, using the entire store as your playing field.
Play with the automatic doors.
Play with the calculators so that they all spell "hello" upside down.
Pour bubble bath into the fountains in the garden section.
Put M%26amp;M's on layaway.
Put random items in the shopping carts of others while they aren't looking.
Randomly throw things over into neighboring aisles.
"Re-alphabetize" the CD's in Electronics.
Re-dress the mannequins as you see fit.
Relax in the patio furniture until you get kicked out.
Repeat whatever the store clerk tells you.
Ride a display bicycle through the store; claim you're taking it for a "test drive."
Ride those little electronic cars at the front of the store.
Roll cans of soup down the aisles.
Run around yelling for your pet ferret "Stinky". Check out all the funny looks you get!
Run up to a complete stranger and say "You're it!"
Run up to a new employee in the pet aisle and point to an invisible cash register and say "Hey you! That cash register over there, well um, I think it's magic! It made my little sister (or brother if you have one) disappear!" Wait and see what they say and the expression on their face.
Sample all the fragrances in the perfume department
Set all the alarm clocks to go off at ten minute intervals throughout the day.
Set up a "Valet Parking" sign in front of the store.
Set up a battle of laser tag!
Set up a tent in the camping department; tell others you'll only invite them in if they bring pillows from Bed and Bath.
Set up ten pineapples in the shape of bowling pins and start bowling with a coconut.
Shoot the bungee tops at customers.
Start Humming the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle Theme song. Whenever someone looks at an item near you scream "TUTLE POWER" and run away as fast as you can.
Strategically scatter those novelty dog poops throughout the store and wait for some to announce "cleanup on aisle ..." then yell "BAD FLUFFY!"
Whenever possible, switch the men’s and women’s signs on the doors of the restroom.
Take bets on the battles mentioned above.
Take shopping carts for the express purpose of filling them and stranding them at strategic locations.
Take up an entire aisle in Toys by setting up a full scale battlefield with G.I. Joes vs. the X-Men.
Test the fishing rods and see what you can "catch" from the other aisles.
Throw as many shoes as possible onto the floor in as little time as you can.
TP as much of the store as possible.
Try to fly on a broom. If anyone asks what you are doing tell them in a very annoyed voice, "the brooms don't work!"
Tune all the radios to a polka station; then turn them all off and turn the volumes to "10".
Unload then entire bin of giant bouncy balls, get in the bin, have a friend put all the balls back on top of you. When someone walks by jump outta the balls causing them to fly everywhere.
Walk about 10 centimeters in front of a moving shopping cart and yell "Its gonna get me!"
Walk around in rubber boots, a rain coat, and an umbrella on bright sunny day!
Walk through the store pushing a cart that is upside-down.
Walk up to a person and say I'm the FBI and I heard that you have been shoplifting and we need to check you.
Walk up to an employee and ask where the laxatives are, changing your voice as if you really need it.
Walk up to an employee and tell him in an official tone, "I think we've got a Code 3 in Housewares," and see what happens.
Walk up to complete strangers and say, "Hi! I haven't seen you in so long!..." etc. See if they play along to avoid embarrassment.
Walk up to the automatic doors and walk back and forth through them and each time u go though look up at the sensor and yell "how does it work?” or “ITS MAGIC!"
When someone asks if you need help, begin to cry and ask, "Why won't you people just leave me alone?"
When someone steps away from their cart to look at something quickly make off with it without saying a word.
When someone steps away from their cart to look at something, quickly make off with it without saying a word.
When the speaker/pager deal comes on start mimicking them.
When there are people behind you, walk REALLY SLOW, especially thin narrow aisles.
When two or three people are walking ahead of you, run between them, yelling, "Red Rover!"
While handling guns in the hunting department, suddenly ask the clerk if he knows
where the anti-depressants are. Act as spastic as possible.
While walking alone pretend you are have a serious conversation with someone.
While walking through the clothing department, ask yourself loud enough for all to hear, "Who BUYS this crap, anyway?"
Thanks again for reading, and again, feel free to email! I love hearing your thoughts!!
Kitty XD
Ever wanted to annoy everyone at the mall 2?
dasdasau0fpjui9apncvus89zcvjhnszBN?
asdfsFomjszfig.
zsdfgolm ,pomzfdobm dpzfm,op?
gvdxklznglvfngv?
zSDfdzgbfzbv?
Gv'.;v,.v;V?
vxvpoko;k,pomo?
oki!!!!!!
dog skin problem
Is my story good?
I want to be a writer but I'm scared my stories are dumb, also, they are kinda short to be a novel, and i have a website for people that have stories or poems and want people to read them, u can email them and I'll post them : freewebs.com/stories2share
thanks!
Survive
This is my newest short story, I hope you enjoy it!
Also, I like writing action-y weird stories, but don't think I'm some disturbed-weird person because I like watching action, thriller and scary movies and they give me new ideas for stories. lol
Part 1
The music was blaring. Everybody swayed to the beat of the music and some people danced. Blue disposable cups swarmed over every surface possible in the main rooms people were in: the living and family room, the basement, and the loft.
Amanda ran upstairs to find her friend in the master suite bathroom, the birthday boy, Eric, talking to some girl. It was his sixteenth birthday party, his birthday really was a few weeks ago, but they had to have the party this late. She swung open the door when she heard his voice; Eric holding some large bottle, drinking it, but she couldn't tell what it was until he moved his arm and it said " Tequila" and some fancy name underneath.
"Eric." She said through her teeth, "what is that you are drinking?"
"Something," he replied.
"Eric, why are you drinking? Beer is ONE thing, but tequila is another! You know you have to drive me home tonight! Put it down!" She glared at him, then slammed the door.
Amanda tromped down the stairs, avoiding the dancing people and ran out the door. She got outside and sat on the bench, she dialed Sam's number and waited for her to answer.
"Hi Sam!" She shouted over the loud music in the background. Sam was in the house at the party too, but Amanda didn't feel like searching for her since she was really stressed out. She said hi too, when Amanda and heard her swallowing something and wondered if she was drinking too. Ignoring it she said "I found Eric drinking something. Alcohol. So what do you think of that?"
"It's really not that big of a deal, everybody drinks Amanda. Lots of kids snuck them from Eric's parent's bar." Sam said.
"I don't care! I know I might be sounding corny to you Sam but we are underaged and we have to drive home! And if we get caught, half of us don't even have our licenses, only our permits..." after she said that, Amanda closed her phone. She marched right over to the front door and made the biggest entrance she could make.
Amanda searched the whole house and found thirteen people drinking, and snatched their bottles and dumped the drinks down the drain. After that, she filled them all at different levels as before with water, luckily they were all dark bottles so you couldn't really tell about colors. Oh, the suprise the kids will get when they try drinking it again, but then again, what about Eric's parents? Oh well, the kids had to drive back, and I don't want anybody to get hurt...
She met with all of her friends in the backyard around 10:30. She saw Eric come through the backdoor with a bottle again, and was drinking it. He was so drunk, he couldn't even tell he was drinking water!
"Why did you take our drinks Amanda? " Eric said, "You know, like everybody is so mad at you." Then they started talking about how they were going to hunt her down and beat her up...?
"I can't believe you." She mumbled under her breath. They couldn't hear her, but even if they could like, they would even remember it.
Then, everyone started talking to each other with their hand in front of their face like they didn't want Amanda to hear, and then snatched her cup of punch and hid behind the bushes.
"You guys are acting so childish!" she yelled. Then they came back.
"We SWEAR we didn't do anything to your cup." Eric said. She asked "Then why did they take it in the first place!" But like she really believed that they didn't do anything to it. They kept getting closer to her and said "Drink it! Drink it!". If she told them she knew they did something to it, then they would be mad at her, and then they'd say she didn't trust them. Only one cup of stuff she told herself, one BIG cup of stuff. She couldn't decide, what would my parents think? But that was later and this is now, my friends in my face. She felt every second tick by. Amanda picked up the cup from Sam's hand, and drank it. She knew her parents would be really mad at her. After that, she really couldn't decide whether or not she was their friends anymore for what they did to her.
Part 2
Next, she went to the park with her friends. Marc, Eric and Hannah rode in Marc's car, and Sam and Amanda walked. she insisted they didn't put one foot in the car after drinking, but thankfully they made it in one piece. Marc and Hannah sat on the end of the double-seated slide. The rest of them sat on the ground .
"So what do you think our parents will do when they see us like this?" Amanda asked.
"You mean if they see us," Eric said. Amanda sort of did a glare at him, and shouted "It's your faults! You drank, and snuck liquor in my punch!!!" even though she knew she still chose to drink it knowing they did something to it.
Luckily, when Eric passed out then, he was sitting down already. You pig, she thought. Everybody knew Eric drank the most out of all of them. When they were talking again, Hannah passed out in the middle of a sentence. Sam and Marc started arguing until Sam punched Marc in the face and he was knocked out. "Just you and me now Amanda" Sam said, "Amanda, what do we do now? I mean look at all of us..." There was a long pause.
"Well, I give up." Amanda said to Sam, and layed on the soft grass, then looked over at her, but she was already curled up too on the ground, sound asleep.
When Amanda woke up, she tried to stretch and squirm and she opened and closed her eyes in the pillow to get them used to being awake. She yawned, and sat up. It was dim. She reached for her cell phone to check the time when she saw she wasn't at the park, or even at home. Amanda saw bars, she was in a jail cell. She saw a skeleton under her bed and gasped, ran to the corner of the room and gagged. She looked down at herself and saw she was in a grimy t-**** and shorts that were black and white striped. Some uniforms they have here, Amanda thought. It was a tiny cell. She ran to the divider and tried to dig a little bit of plaster stuff out to make a hole to see through. She looked and saw Hannah on the other side. She looked up and saw there was just enough space to the ceiling so she could climb over, so she did.
Amanda ran to the side of the bed where Hannah was, and she noticed that Hannah was still sleeping. She shook her to jar her out of sleep, but she didn't budge. Then she smacked her across the face.
"Gosh!" she yelled, and opened her eyes to see who it was and her eyes widened, she realized too that she wasn't at home.
"Shut up," Amanda snapped quietly and put her hand over Hannah's mouth. "We're in jail...I think. Look over there, see those bars? We are in cells, but it might not really be a jail, because I found and old body under my bed, they can't really do that, can they?" She whispered, and took her hand off of her mouth so she could reply. Just incase it was a real jail, Amanda treated it like a real jail. She climbed over the divider, back to her cell and sat on the bed. "Hello! I would like to make my phone call now!" Then upstairs she heard heavy foot steps, boots, and they trailed heavily and slowly down the stairs until a man appeared at the bottom, in front of Amanda's cell.
"You won't be makin' any phone calls here," The man said. he was dressed in a police uniform, should she believe him? Was he really a police officer? He denied her a phone call, so it mustn't be.
"Where am I? Is this a real jail? When can we go home-"
"Shut up!" He snapped.
"Let me out!!!" Amanda yelled back. The man turned around and then paused when he heard Amanda start to sob, then when he heard what it was, he continued up the stairs. Amanda got off the floor, brushed herself off, and whispered "Don't worry." to Hannah's cell. Through the hole in the wall, she saw Hannah crying. I have to think, how am I going to get out of here? She sat on the bed softly because she remembered it creaking last time she sat down. My retainer! She said in her head. Amanda knew her retainer cost over a hundred bucks, but she had to get out, her mom would understand. She took it out of her mouth and twisted the wires into a stick shape as straight and not kinked as possible. She walked in front of the door and knelt to eye height with the lock and attempted to pick the lock. She remembered doing less complicated locks a few years ago, like her sister's room... and her sister's diary, when...CLICK. She cheered in her head and smiled. She opened the door as small as possible just enough to squeeze through, to reduce creaking noises. She walked quickly to Hannah's cell and studied the outside lock. It was really easy, there was just a lever to pull at the very top, but out of reach because a board blocked the openings of the bars to the person on the inside the cell, then Amanda walked into Hannah's cell.
"Hannah, I got out, and I got you out now, just get up, we're free!" She walked toward Hannah and shook her, but when she did, Hannah's head was separated from her neck and it smacked onto the ground. She stepped back and screamed with hot air coming from her mouth instead of noise.
Part 3
Then, Amanda got up, closed the cell, and went to find her other friends. The next cell was Marc's, get out!"She said in a strong voice before she ran to free the others. At the end of the room, they saw a pile of their clothes, and they grabbed them and quickly put them on. There was also a window that was big enough to crawl out of. Everyone waited for each other to get out, until-BANG! It sounded close. Amanda turned around and saw two men, one of them was the one she saw already, they were both dressed in police uniforms, and they both had guns.
"Frank, should I tranq' 'em?" the new guy said.
"Yep! Get them John!" Then he tried firing, but he missed the first one, but the next four shots, he got them.
The lights shined bright, and Amanda woke up. A short nervous moan brought her back to it. Her head was pounding, and she thought she must have bumped it really hard when she hit the ground. Oh no! She realized, I was tranquilized where am I now? Then, she tried lifting herself, but she couldn't lift past her waist. She looked down and saw that her wrists, ankles, and waist was tied down to a table. She opened her mouth to scream, but it was muffled, there was a cloth tied around her mouth as a gag. Amanda looked around and she saw Marc, Sam, and Eric all tied up too. They were all awake too. Amanda didn't understand it. How could someone be so cruel? What did they want from us? What did we do to deserve this? Amanda looked over at Sam and saw that her leg was bleeding, she was the one moaning, and she still moaned while she squirmed. Amanda kept chewing at her gag to get it off, and did. Amanda kept squeezing her wrists back sideways through the cuffs and they were burning, and red, until she finally got one off, reached over, and untied the other cuffs.
Amanda jumped off of the table and freed Eric, Amanda was limping over to Sam's table when she realized that she was limping, she looked down at her ankle and it was bleeding, her ankle was out of place, and she could see it poking through the skin, she noticed Sam, Eric, Marc all
had injuries too. She painfully popped it backThey all trudged together through the nearest door. SNAP. They all heard a cord snap followed by tick, tick, tick. Out in the hall area, there was a TV, a cartoon appeared on the screen. It was a creepy looking kangaroo with a smirk on its face and it said "Hello. Welcome to the house. Try to get out by 6 AM and you won't be locked in forever. But there are some traps throughout it, so you better watch ooouuu-out. They noticed a little note card on the side of the TV. Eric picked it up and read it aloud: Beware of the maze, which is really the house. Go quickly and quietly like a little mouse. If you don't hurry and strive for freedom with each other, then don't even think about seeing your father or mother.
The TV shut off and they assumed the cord set the timer. The clock on the side of the TV flicked to 12:06, there was six hours left. They went around the corner.
"Should we split up, or stay together?" Eric asked. Everyone shrugged at the same time. Eventually, they decided that they should split: Eric and Marc, and Amanda and Sam. Then every body would use their cell phones and call each other when they found the exit and give directions to help the others find the way out. There was a split in the hallway. Sam stood at one end, and Mark stood at the other, while Eric and Amanda stood in between. Amanda looked into his eyes and said "Eric... be safe. Use your heads so you don't get killed. Goodbye." Then they split up and went down their paths.
"So it's just you and me now Amanda. If they die, then we would loose three of our friends! I can't take that!" Sam said. And Amanda noticed that her voice broke.
"How can this happen to us? What did we do to deserve this? It's not fair!" Amanda said, and then softly, with her head down "It's not fair." Back and forth, around corners, dead ends, it seemed like there was no escape. Sam happened to look over and saw Eric looking down, but Marc wasn't with him.
"Where's Marc?!" Sam yelled.
"I don't know! I was walking, and happened to look around and Marc wasn't there anymore. I started looking for him, but all I saw was a trail of blood, but it stopped at a dead end, but he wasn't there! There was so much, like he couldn't possibly be alive anymore! What did they do with
him?!"
"Oh my gosh! See I knew something would happen! I told you!" Sam screamed.
"It isn't my fault Marc wandered off!" Eric yelled back. Amanda caught a shiny glimpse of something in the corner of her eye as she turned away. It was Marc's cell phone! She ran over to it and said "Look!'' to everyone. She picked it up and flipped it open, and she saw that it was dead. She got her cell phone out to see the time: 2:27, when she saw she had a voicemail. Amanda called her voicemail, "You have one-new-voice-message. First message, sent at 2:16 AM. From "Marc". "Amanda! Heeelp! I'm being-" End of message." Everyone was frozen. It was so loud that everyone else heard. Amanda closed her phone with her face blank and frozen and slipped it back into her pocket.
"They must have put it here on purpose." Eric said.
Part 4
Amanda almost threw up. She couldn't take that already two of her friends were gone. Then she looked over at Sam and Eric. Not them too. Or what if I'm next. Amanda thought.
"Guys, guys! Pull yourselves together! I'm really sorry to tell you that they are gone! They aren't coming back! It's two thirty So be quiet, suck it up and save yourselves while we still have the chance!" Eric yelled, but after he said it, you could tell on his face that he felt sorry for yelling at them. But still even after he said that, Amanda still had a secret crush on him.
"We should stick together this time, three heads are better than one!" Amanda said.
"How about we stand on each other to see where the exit is!" Sam said.
"How about-the walls go up to the ceiling!" Amanda said, "Sorry... I'm just really tired."
"It's okay Amanda, I am too. I understand." Sam said. They turned around the corner and there was a door. "We made it out!" Sam and Amanda jumped, and Eric looked overly happy. Eric opened it and the smile dropped. Amanda and Sam came to his sides to see what it was, because they didn't see sky at the top of the doorway. There was a table with Marc on it, he was dead and his skin was black, he was burned. There was another door behind Marc's table, that had a tiny window, and a sign underneath that said "Caution! Extreme temperatures over 600 Degrees!".
"Let's go." Amanda said, pulling herself together. They stepped out of the room and shut the door. CLICK. The voice of the kangaroo came on the intercom, "You know what happens when you don't make it out in time? Carbon Monoxide. Oh and... you better watch out, you better not cry, you better not pout I'm telling you why, 'cause a trap is coming up right ahead, watch out." They ran as fast as they could around corners and down more hallways. Then there was and end, but with two doors. They both said "EXIT" on the top of them.
"... I'll go in guys." Sam finally said. She stood in front of the left
door, her palm hovering over the nob, she was hesitant, even though she always was the daredevil, even over "Big and Bad" and "Manly" Eric and Marc. She stepped inside, turned around, and looked scared, then, the door swung closed. They heard the noise of a machine starting up. Eric started kicking the door, and Amanda kept pounding on it with her fists. They could hear Sam's screams on the other side and a burst of steam rushed out of the crack at the bottom of the door. Her screams ended, and all the noise that was left was sizzling noises, the sound of when you put fries in a frier.
"Three." Amanda said, choking back her tears, it was barely audible. "Next it's, it's you, or me..."
"Don't you say that Amanda! Don't you ever say that! We are gonna make it home! You hear me?!" Eric shouted. Amanda crashed to the floor.
"Just leave me here, go on." She said.
"No... now get up." Eric said in a stern, low voice. He waited for her, but when she didn't budge, he sat down next to her.
"Don't give up, obviously the exit is the other door. We made it Amanda! Cheer up! I know... we can't just forget about the others... but we just gotta get home. Please, just come on." His eyes welled up to the maximum, and a tear slid down from one eye. Amanda hugged him.
"I 'm so glad you guys have been my best friends. If the others were here, I would say the same thing. Thanks." She said, cheering up. They both stood up, and walked out the door.
Part 5
They stepped onto the dewy grass behind the house. The sun was just peeping rays of light out, and they watched it come up. BAM. The door made a loud clicking noise, it locked, and you could hear sprays from the inside, outside. They ran as fast as they could, and kept looking behind them to make sure nobody was there. It seemed to them, that they ran for miles, and actually, they probably did. Finally, after hours, they saw the figure of a house or a building. They came uo closer to it, expecting someone would be there. At the front door, they knocked, but nobody answered. They started pounding on the door, but still no one answered.
"Should we go in?" Eric asked Amanda, and she shrugged.
"Well, this would be breaking an entry. But the guys might have seen us leave on the cameras. We need someplace to hide!" She replied. Eric lifted his foot to kick the door open, and Amanda was over by the window, but it was already opened. There was thick dust caked on everything.
"How did someone abandon this house? Like they just went out, but never came back? Everything a normal household needs is here, but its just old." Eric said. They kept wandering around, examining the things that were there.
"I found food! Canned food!" Eric said. "But one problem, there's only four cans."
"And I found a duster, and a rag!" Amanda exclaimed, and tossed Eric the rag, and they dusted away. It was a tiny house, just one bedroom, with one bathroom, and a living area/kitchen. They were so dirty when they were finished cleaning the house. Amanda took a shower, but she had to let it run for twenty minutes because the water was so old that was stored in the pipes. After that, Eric took a shower.
Around seven, they were so bored, there was nothing to do. And they could call, other wise they would have when they arrived, but they couldn't get any reception on their cell phones because they were in the middle on nowhere. They just sat on the couch and talked.
"I wonder what our parents are thinking right now. I don't think mine are worrying." Eric said.
"Don't say that Eric! They care about you, they were probably upset that you didn't have the house cleaned and ready for them like you were supposed to, but then again, we were kidnapped, so we really couldn't."
"Amanda, I'm really sorry I got us all into this mess. If I hadn't started drinking, and helped them put liquor in your punch, this... wouldn't have happened." Eric said.
"Yeah, but it was still my fault for drinking it. I still knew you guys did something to it. It's just, I thought that you guys would be mad at me if I said 'no'. There was a long pause. "But I wonder what my parents are thinking too.... My little sister Kelly."
"Aww," Eric said, and he wasn't being sarcastic. "Let's get some sleep. We need to get up early in the morning, set your phone alarm for six." Eric said. Amanda nodded and they went to the bedroom. There was a stench and they followed it to the closet in the bedroom, but didn't dare open it.
"I'll sleep on the floor." Eric said.
"No, I will." Amanda replied. Eric stared at her, and she said "Fine."
"Tomorrow we'll try figure things out." Eric said.
"Eric, I feel bad about making you sleep on the floor." Amanda said. She pulled her hood up so she wouldn't have to touch the dirty bedding.
"Don't. Because tomorrow night, you will." Eric said. They started laughing. "Night."
"Good night." Amanda said, as she turned out the light. "Honey." She whispered.
"-What did you say?" Eric asked, puzzled.
"- Nothing. I said goodnight. Now... goodnight. " And they drifted off to sleep.
Amanda screamed, and fell out of the bed and landed on Eric's feet, then she crawled over and turned on the light. Eric moaned.
"What is it Amanda? It's like," Eric looked at the clock on the wall,
" three in the morning, turn out the light." He said, while he shielded his eyes.
" I felt something, touch my face, was it you?" She asked.
"No. You were probably just, (yawn), dreaming it." Eric replied
"No Eric, I've been drifting in and out of sleep, and that time, I swear I was awake. Something touched my face! " Amanda said, trying not to
shout very loud. CLICK. The front door closed. It was very quiet, but in that moment of silence, it was very loud. They bolted over to the window and saw tall grass moving in a trail backward. They left. Eric believed her then. They went out together to the main room and Amanda locked the door. Amanda walked back to the bedroom thinking Eric was behind her, but she turned around and he wasn't.
"I'm gonna stay out here, keep an eye out." Eric said. Amanda nodded. Eric sat down on the couch and then stretched his legs out across it. She went to the bedroom and waited twenty minutes, acting like she was sleeping. Amanda didn't want to be alone after this just happened so she went in the living room and lay on the floor. They both went to sleep for the night.
Amanda woke up, but Eric was already outside. It was cold early in the morning.
"Morning Eric. Why didn't you wake me up?" She asked, but he didn't say anything. He was sitting in a lawn chair, and his back was to her. "Eric?" She asked, and walked around to his other side and he buried his head in his arms and lap. He was crying. She patted his back. "What's wrong?" she asked. He sniffled and wiped his face with his arm and stood up. "I was waiting for you, we can go get some food now. But we have to go fast." He said. She nodded and they left. They found a little garden, some tomatoes and potatoes, and there was an apple tree. They picked some and ran back to the house. They ate and were bored the rest of the day again.
That night Amanda slept on the floor and Eric slept on the bed.
"Eric!"Amanda yelled. "Some thing touched my face again!"
"Again?" He asked. They heard the click again, but this time it was the bedroom door. Eric bolted to the window. "Amanda, get weapons! I didn't see anyone leave! He's outside!" Eric whispered. Amanda ran to the closet. She took a deep breath, preparing herself for the stench that was about to come. She opened the door and stepped inside. There was junk scattered on the floor. But in the middle of the closet, there was a bookcase that had nicknacks and pictures. There was on big one. It was a silver picture frame with a picture of a woman. She was elderly, about 65 to 70. On the frame, it said "Mom". She looked so familiar. Amanda realized that it was the sons' mother when she looked at the bottom shelf
and there was a double picture frame that had the "police officer" sons. This was their house! Behind the bookcase was a sliding door, she opened it and there was a dozen dead bodies, she saw Marc, Sam, and Hannah's headless body in the closet. Amanda wretched and fell back. Someone caught her. She looked up and it was Eric. He said "What?" She couldn't even get any words out and just pointed, and when he saw it he almost dropped her, so he pushed her back up. They ran out of the room and down the hallway until someone stepped out from around the corner. It was Frank.
"Not so fast" he said.
Part 6
"Where do you think you're going? Frank said.
"Home!" Eric shouted, and kicked Frank in the face. He fell on his back and Amanda jumped on top of him. She punched his face again and again. Then she did one big blow to his stomach repeatedly and Eric kicked his sides and thighs. On one big final punch to his nose and it gushed out blood. She stood up and Eric raised his foot over Franks face.
"Should I give him the "death sentence" Amanda?" Eric said.
Amanda grabbed him and pulled him to the side.
"No."Amanda said, "I know something better, make him suffer like they did until we get the cops!" Then they grabbed him and threw him in the closet. Eric boarded it shut and they ran off.
They ran and ran. This time when they ran, they ran to the side, not the direction that they came from. Finally, they came to a dirt road. But there were no cars in sight. They still continued down the street. A car came by. They started jumping around and jumped in the middle of the street. Eric and Amanda looked really dirty, especially their clothes. The little rusty green car stopped at the side of the road, their helplessness appearance must have made them stop to pick up complete strangers.
"Thank you so much!" Amanda said. "Do you have a cell phone we can use? Ours died."
"No, I'm sorry. But I do have two chargers. (chuckle) I left my cell phone at home. What's your brand?" The man said.
"I have a...C6J890" Amanda said.
"Okay, I have a C6, see if this one fits." The man handed her the charger and she put it in. "It fits!" The man plugged it in and she turned on her cell phone. She started to dial 9-1-1, but stopped. While the phone rang she asked "What city are we in?... Well, we had some car trouble. We aren't crazy or anything."
"Baton Rouge." He said, and looked at her suspiciously. Amanda hung up the phone. What if he thinks something wrong and doesn't believe we were kidnapped? He would kick us out and my phone wouldn't be charged enough. So I'll wait twenty minutes. They just drove down the dirt road, there was nothing on it, it seemed like it went on
forever. Finally, she looked at the clock and thirty minutes had passed.
"What street are we on?" Eric asked.
"Mully road. It connects with Danburt Street, way at the end."
"Hello? I need some help! We are on Mully Road by Danburt in Baton Rouge. Send cars, we had been kidnapped, but right now we got a ride! We would like to go home!" Amanda said.
"Will do, help is on the way." The operator said.
"We'll take it from here." Eric said. And they stepped out of the car at Danburt and Mully. They sat on the side of the road and finally the police cars came.
Eric and Amanda got inside the police car and drove to the police airport to be escorted home.
On the plane they sat in their seats and ate two meals each. Finally, when they were done they talked.
"I can't believe we are finally going home Amanda!" Eric said.
"I know!" Amanda replied.
"I...I love you." Eric said.
"You do?!?" She asked. He nodded.
"I love you too." And they went home.
Epilogue
The parents of the group of friends were all devastated when they found out about what had happened to all of them.
Their case made world news.
Eric and Amanda stayed together and ended up getting accepted into the same colleges. Amanda majored in art and Eric majored in journalism. All through college they stayed together.
Eventually the couple broke up, thinking it was the best thing to do.
When Eric and Amanda were both 26, they got back together for three years and got married. Two years later, their case became a movie and became the most popular movie in ten years. Eric and Amanda made money for agreeing to the story and moved into a large house and had three dogs and two cats. Eventually, they had three kids: two girls and a boy and named them Hannah, Sam and Marc.
Is my story good?
You have quite an imagination! I skimmed it at first and then went back because after all the talk about alcohol, I thought it was going to be a morality statement. But after the second read, I really enjoyed it! I do not know how you all got to the "jail" or whatever as you left that out. And when Marc was found dead, I thought maybe your story was a dream or at least a joke, like in that movie "Happy Birthday" or something like that. But as it turned out it was like The Chainsaw Massacre! I would be honored to be your editor (you could certainly use one) when you write another story for publication; I assume you are in your teens, right? But I think you should "Go girl go"!!!. I really read every word. Thanks for the entertainment. Vicki PS: I love mysteries and scary movies, books and whatever. Read Andrew Klavan sometime!
Reply:WOW. that's a lot. to tell you the truth, I only read the first few lines but I thought your writing was pretty ok. It was good. But I think to get the reader hooked you want to pull them in with those first few lines. Make it seduce them, you know?
:]
Reply:Sorry but as someone who has been a proud member of AA for 12 1/2 years, I completely disagree with the concept "Beer is one thing but tequila is another". More alcohol related deaths involve beer than any other liquor. Yes beer is liquor. It gets you just as drunk and when you kill someone driving drunk on beer, the people get just as dead. I couldn't read past that statement. It is very irresponsible to give young people that impression. Sorry. It is just wrong. Pax-C
Hotel reviews
thanks!
Survive
This is my newest short story, I hope you enjoy it!
Also, I like writing action-y weird stories, but don't think I'm some disturbed-weird person because I like watching action, thriller and scary movies and they give me new ideas for stories. lol
Part 1
The music was blaring. Everybody swayed to the beat of the music and some people danced. Blue disposable cups swarmed over every surface possible in the main rooms people were in: the living and family room, the basement, and the loft.
Amanda ran upstairs to find her friend in the master suite bathroom, the birthday boy, Eric, talking to some girl. It was his sixteenth birthday party, his birthday really was a few weeks ago, but they had to have the party this late. She swung open the door when she heard his voice; Eric holding some large bottle, drinking it, but she couldn't tell what it was until he moved his arm and it said " Tequila" and some fancy name underneath.
"Eric." She said through her teeth, "what is that you are drinking?"
"Something," he replied.
"Eric, why are you drinking? Beer is ONE thing, but tequila is another! You know you have to drive me home tonight! Put it down!" She glared at him, then slammed the door.
Amanda tromped down the stairs, avoiding the dancing people and ran out the door. She got outside and sat on the bench, she dialed Sam's number and waited for her to answer.
"Hi Sam!" She shouted over the loud music in the background. Sam was in the house at the party too, but Amanda didn't feel like searching for her since she was really stressed out. She said hi too, when Amanda and heard her swallowing something and wondered if she was drinking too. Ignoring it she said "I found Eric drinking something. Alcohol. So what do you think of that?"
"It's really not that big of a deal, everybody drinks Amanda. Lots of kids snuck them from Eric's parent's bar." Sam said.
"I don't care! I know I might be sounding corny to you Sam but we are underaged and we have to drive home! And if we get caught, half of us don't even have our licenses, only our permits..." after she said that, Amanda closed her phone. She marched right over to the front door and made the biggest entrance she could make.
Amanda searched the whole house and found thirteen people drinking, and snatched their bottles and dumped the drinks down the drain. After that, she filled them all at different levels as before with water, luckily they were all dark bottles so you couldn't really tell about colors. Oh, the suprise the kids will get when they try drinking it again, but then again, what about Eric's parents? Oh well, the kids had to drive back, and I don't want anybody to get hurt...
She met with all of her friends in the backyard around 10:30. She saw Eric come through the backdoor with a bottle again, and was drinking it. He was so drunk, he couldn't even tell he was drinking water!
"Why did you take our drinks Amanda? " Eric said, "You know, like everybody is so mad at you." Then they started talking about how they were going to hunt her down and beat her up...?
"I can't believe you." She mumbled under her breath. They couldn't hear her, but even if they could like, they would even remember it.
Then, everyone started talking to each other with their hand in front of their face like they didn't want Amanda to hear, and then snatched her cup of punch and hid behind the bushes.
"You guys are acting so childish!" she yelled. Then they came back.
"We SWEAR we didn't do anything to your cup." Eric said. She asked "Then why did they take it in the first place!" But like she really believed that they didn't do anything to it. They kept getting closer to her and said "Drink it! Drink it!". If she told them she knew they did something to it, then they would be mad at her, and then they'd say she didn't trust them. Only one cup of stuff she told herself, one BIG cup of stuff. She couldn't decide, what would my parents think? But that was later and this is now, my friends in my face. She felt every second tick by. Amanda picked up the cup from Sam's hand, and drank it. She knew her parents would be really mad at her. After that, she really couldn't decide whether or not she was their friends anymore for what they did to her.
Part 2
Next, she went to the park with her friends. Marc, Eric and Hannah rode in Marc's car, and Sam and Amanda walked. she insisted they didn't put one foot in the car after drinking, but thankfully they made it in one piece. Marc and Hannah sat on the end of the double-seated slide. The rest of them sat on the ground .
"So what do you think our parents will do when they see us like this?" Amanda asked.
"You mean if they see us," Eric said. Amanda sort of did a glare at him, and shouted "It's your faults! You drank, and snuck liquor in my punch!!!" even though she knew she still chose to drink it knowing they did something to it.
Luckily, when Eric passed out then, he was sitting down already. You pig, she thought. Everybody knew Eric drank the most out of all of them. When they were talking again, Hannah passed out in the middle of a sentence. Sam and Marc started arguing until Sam punched Marc in the face and he was knocked out. "Just you and me now Amanda" Sam said, "Amanda, what do we do now? I mean look at all of us..." There was a long pause.
"Well, I give up." Amanda said to Sam, and layed on the soft grass, then looked over at her, but she was already curled up too on the ground, sound asleep.
When Amanda woke up, she tried to stretch and squirm and she opened and closed her eyes in the pillow to get them used to being awake. She yawned, and sat up. It was dim. She reached for her cell phone to check the time when she saw she wasn't at the park, or even at home. Amanda saw bars, she was in a jail cell. She saw a skeleton under her bed and gasped, ran to the corner of the room and gagged. She looked down at herself and saw she was in a grimy t-**** and shorts that were black and white striped. Some uniforms they have here, Amanda thought. It was a tiny cell. She ran to the divider and tried to dig a little bit of plaster stuff out to make a hole to see through. She looked and saw Hannah on the other side. She looked up and saw there was just enough space to the ceiling so she could climb over, so she did.
Amanda ran to the side of the bed where Hannah was, and she noticed that Hannah was still sleeping. She shook her to jar her out of sleep, but she didn't budge. Then she smacked her across the face.
"Gosh!" she yelled, and opened her eyes to see who it was and her eyes widened, she realized too that she wasn't at home.
"Shut up," Amanda snapped quietly and put her hand over Hannah's mouth. "We're in jail...I think. Look over there, see those bars? We are in cells, but it might not really be a jail, because I found and old body under my bed, they can't really do that, can they?" She whispered, and took her hand off of her mouth so she could reply. Just incase it was a real jail, Amanda treated it like a real jail. She climbed over the divider, back to her cell and sat on the bed. "Hello! I would like to make my phone call now!" Then upstairs she heard heavy foot steps, boots, and they trailed heavily and slowly down the stairs until a man appeared at the bottom, in front of Amanda's cell.
"You won't be makin' any phone calls here," The man said. he was dressed in a police uniform, should she believe him? Was he really a police officer? He denied her a phone call, so it mustn't be.
"Where am I? Is this a real jail? When can we go home-"
"Shut up!" He snapped.
"Let me out!!!" Amanda yelled back. The man turned around and then paused when he heard Amanda start to sob, then when he heard what it was, he continued up the stairs. Amanda got off the floor, brushed herself off, and whispered "Don't worry." to Hannah's cell. Through the hole in the wall, she saw Hannah crying. I have to think, how am I going to get out of here? She sat on the bed softly because she remembered it creaking last time she sat down. My retainer! She said in her head. Amanda knew her retainer cost over a hundred bucks, but she had to get out, her mom would understand. She took it out of her mouth and twisted the wires into a stick shape as straight and not kinked as possible. She walked in front of the door and knelt to eye height with the lock and attempted to pick the lock. She remembered doing less complicated locks a few years ago, like her sister's room... and her sister's diary, when...CLICK. She cheered in her head and smiled. She opened the door as small as possible just enough to squeeze through, to reduce creaking noises. She walked quickly to Hannah's cell and studied the outside lock. It was really easy, there was just a lever to pull at the very top, but out of reach because a board blocked the openings of the bars to the person on the inside the cell, then Amanda walked into Hannah's cell.
"Hannah, I got out, and I got you out now, just get up, we're free!" She walked toward Hannah and shook her, but when she did, Hannah's head was separated from her neck and it smacked onto the ground. She stepped back and screamed with hot air coming from her mouth instead of noise.
Part 3
Then, Amanda got up, closed the cell, and went to find her other friends. The next cell was Marc's, get out!"She said in a strong voice before she ran to free the others. At the end of the room, they saw a pile of their clothes, and they grabbed them and quickly put them on. There was also a window that was big enough to crawl out of. Everyone waited for each other to get out, until-BANG! It sounded close. Amanda turned around and saw two men, one of them was the one she saw already, they were both dressed in police uniforms, and they both had guns.
"Frank, should I tranq' 'em?" the new guy said.
"Yep! Get them John!" Then he tried firing, but he missed the first one, but the next four shots, he got them.
The lights shined bright, and Amanda woke up. A short nervous moan brought her back to it. Her head was pounding, and she thought she must have bumped it really hard when she hit the ground. Oh no! She realized, I was tranquilized where am I now? Then, she tried lifting herself, but she couldn't lift past her waist. She looked down and saw that her wrists, ankles, and waist was tied down to a table. She opened her mouth to scream, but it was muffled, there was a cloth tied around her mouth as a gag. Amanda looked around and she saw Marc, Sam, and Eric all tied up too. They were all awake too. Amanda didn't understand it. How could someone be so cruel? What did they want from us? What did we do to deserve this? Amanda looked over at Sam and saw that her leg was bleeding, she was the one moaning, and she still moaned while she squirmed. Amanda kept chewing at her gag to get it off, and did. Amanda kept squeezing her wrists back sideways through the cuffs and they were burning, and red, until she finally got one off, reached over, and untied the other cuffs.
Amanda jumped off of the table and freed Eric, Amanda was limping over to Sam's table when she realized that she was limping, she looked down at her ankle and it was bleeding, her ankle was out of place, and she could see it poking through the skin, she noticed Sam, Eric, Marc all
had injuries too. She painfully popped it backThey all trudged together through the nearest door. SNAP. They all heard a cord snap followed by tick, tick, tick. Out in the hall area, there was a TV, a cartoon appeared on the screen. It was a creepy looking kangaroo with a smirk on its face and it said "Hello. Welcome to the house. Try to get out by 6 AM and you won't be locked in forever. But there are some traps throughout it, so you better watch ooouuu-out. They noticed a little note card on the side of the TV. Eric picked it up and read it aloud: Beware of the maze, which is really the house. Go quickly and quietly like a little mouse. If you don't hurry and strive for freedom with each other, then don't even think about seeing your father or mother.
The TV shut off and they assumed the cord set the timer. The clock on the side of the TV flicked to 12:06, there was six hours left. They went around the corner.
"Should we split up, or stay together?" Eric asked. Everyone shrugged at the same time. Eventually, they decided that they should split: Eric and Marc, and Amanda and Sam. Then every body would use their cell phones and call each other when they found the exit and give directions to help the others find the way out. There was a split in the hallway. Sam stood at one end, and Mark stood at the other, while Eric and Amanda stood in between. Amanda looked into his eyes and said "Eric... be safe. Use your heads so you don't get killed. Goodbye." Then they split up and went down their paths.
"So it's just you and me now Amanda. If they die, then we would loose three of our friends! I can't take that!" Sam said. And Amanda noticed that her voice broke.
"How can this happen to us? What did we do to deserve this? It's not fair!" Amanda said, and then softly, with her head down "It's not fair." Back and forth, around corners, dead ends, it seemed like there was no escape. Sam happened to look over and saw Eric looking down, but Marc wasn't with him.
"Where's Marc?!" Sam yelled.
"I don't know! I was walking, and happened to look around and Marc wasn't there anymore. I started looking for him, but all I saw was a trail of blood, but it stopped at a dead end, but he wasn't there! There was so much, like he couldn't possibly be alive anymore! What did they do with
him?!"
"Oh my gosh! See I knew something would happen! I told you!" Sam screamed.
"It isn't my fault Marc wandered off!" Eric yelled back. Amanda caught a shiny glimpse of something in the corner of her eye as she turned away. It was Marc's cell phone! She ran over to it and said "Look!'' to everyone. She picked it up and flipped it open, and she saw that it was dead. She got her cell phone out to see the time: 2:27, when she saw she had a voicemail. Amanda called her voicemail, "You have one-new-voice-message. First message, sent at 2:16 AM. From "Marc". "Amanda! Heeelp! I'm being-" End of message." Everyone was frozen. It was so loud that everyone else heard. Amanda closed her phone with her face blank and frozen and slipped it back into her pocket.
"They must have put it here on purpose." Eric said.
Part 4
Amanda almost threw up. She couldn't take that already two of her friends were gone. Then she looked over at Sam and Eric. Not them too. Or what if I'm next. Amanda thought.
"Guys, guys! Pull yourselves together! I'm really sorry to tell you that they are gone! They aren't coming back! It's two thirty So be quiet, suck it up and save yourselves while we still have the chance!" Eric yelled, but after he said it, you could tell on his face that he felt sorry for yelling at them. But still even after he said that, Amanda still had a secret crush on him.
"We should stick together this time, three heads are better than one!" Amanda said.
"How about we stand on each other to see where the exit is!" Sam said.
"How about-the walls go up to the ceiling!" Amanda said, "Sorry... I'm just really tired."
"It's okay Amanda, I am too. I understand." Sam said. They turned around the corner and there was a door. "We made it out!" Sam and Amanda jumped, and Eric looked overly happy. Eric opened it and the smile dropped. Amanda and Sam came to his sides to see what it was, because they didn't see sky at the top of the doorway. There was a table with Marc on it, he was dead and his skin was black, he was burned. There was another door behind Marc's table, that had a tiny window, and a sign underneath that said "Caution! Extreme temperatures over 600 Degrees!".
"Let's go." Amanda said, pulling herself together. They stepped out of the room and shut the door. CLICK. The voice of the kangaroo came on the intercom, "You know what happens when you don't make it out in time? Carbon Monoxide. Oh and... you better watch out, you better not cry, you better not pout I'm telling you why, 'cause a trap is coming up right ahead, watch out." They ran as fast as they could around corners and down more hallways. Then there was and end, but with two doors. They both said "EXIT" on the top of them.
"... I'll go in guys." Sam finally said. She stood in front of the left
door, her palm hovering over the nob, she was hesitant, even though she always was the daredevil, even over "Big and Bad" and "Manly" Eric and Marc. She stepped inside, turned around, and looked scared, then, the door swung closed. They heard the noise of a machine starting up. Eric started kicking the door, and Amanda kept pounding on it with her fists. They could hear Sam's screams on the other side and a burst of steam rushed out of the crack at the bottom of the door. Her screams ended, and all the noise that was left was sizzling noises, the sound of when you put fries in a frier.
"Three." Amanda said, choking back her tears, it was barely audible. "Next it's, it's you, or me..."
"Don't you say that Amanda! Don't you ever say that! We are gonna make it home! You hear me?!" Eric shouted. Amanda crashed to the floor.
"Just leave me here, go on." She said.
"No... now get up." Eric said in a stern, low voice. He waited for her, but when she didn't budge, he sat down next to her.
"Don't give up, obviously the exit is the other door. We made it Amanda! Cheer up! I know... we can't just forget about the others... but we just gotta get home. Please, just come on." His eyes welled up to the maximum, and a tear slid down from one eye. Amanda hugged him.
"I 'm so glad you guys have been my best friends. If the others were here, I would say the same thing. Thanks." She said, cheering up. They both stood up, and walked out the door.
Part 5
They stepped onto the dewy grass behind the house. The sun was just peeping rays of light out, and they watched it come up. BAM. The door made a loud clicking noise, it locked, and you could hear sprays from the inside, outside. They ran as fast as they could, and kept looking behind them to make sure nobody was there. It seemed to them, that they ran for miles, and actually, they probably did. Finally, after hours, they saw the figure of a house or a building. They came uo closer to it, expecting someone would be there. At the front door, they knocked, but nobody answered. They started pounding on the door, but still no one answered.
"Should we go in?" Eric asked Amanda, and she shrugged.
"Well, this would be breaking an entry. But the guys might have seen us leave on the cameras. We need someplace to hide!" She replied. Eric lifted his foot to kick the door open, and Amanda was over by the window, but it was already opened. There was thick dust caked on everything.
"How did someone abandon this house? Like they just went out, but never came back? Everything a normal household needs is here, but its just old." Eric said. They kept wandering around, examining the things that were there.
"I found food! Canned food!" Eric said. "But one problem, there's only four cans."
"And I found a duster, and a rag!" Amanda exclaimed, and tossed Eric the rag, and they dusted away. It was a tiny house, just one bedroom, with one bathroom, and a living area/kitchen. They were so dirty when they were finished cleaning the house. Amanda took a shower, but she had to let it run for twenty minutes because the water was so old that was stored in the pipes. After that, Eric took a shower.
Around seven, they were so bored, there was nothing to do. And they could call, other wise they would have when they arrived, but they couldn't get any reception on their cell phones because they were in the middle on nowhere. They just sat on the couch and talked.
"I wonder what our parents are thinking right now. I don't think mine are worrying." Eric said.
"Don't say that Eric! They care about you, they were probably upset that you didn't have the house cleaned and ready for them like you were supposed to, but then again, we were kidnapped, so we really couldn't."
"Amanda, I'm really sorry I got us all into this mess. If I hadn't started drinking, and helped them put liquor in your punch, this... wouldn't have happened." Eric said.
"Yeah, but it was still my fault for drinking it. I still knew you guys did something to it. It's just, I thought that you guys would be mad at me if I said 'no'. There was a long pause. "But I wonder what my parents are thinking too.... My little sister Kelly."
"Aww," Eric said, and he wasn't being sarcastic. "Let's get some sleep. We need to get up early in the morning, set your phone alarm for six." Eric said. Amanda nodded and they went to the bedroom. There was a stench and they followed it to the closet in the bedroom, but didn't dare open it.
"I'll sleep on the floor." Eric said.
"No, I will." Amanda replied. Eric stared at her, and she said "Fine."
"Tomorrow we'll try figure things out." Eric said.
"Eric, I feel bad about making you sleep on the floor." Amanda said. She pulled her hood up so she wouldn't have to touch the dirty bedding.
"Don't. Because tomorrow night, you will." Eric said. They started laughing. "Night."
"Good night." Amanda said, as she turned out the light. "Honey." She whispered.
"-What did you say?" Eric asked, puzzled.
"- Nothing. I said goodnight. Now... goodnight. " And they drifted off to sleep.
Amanda screamed, and fell out of the bed and landed on Eric's feet, then she crawled over and turned on the light. Eric moaned.
"What is it Amanda? It's like," Eric looked at the clock on the wall,
" three in the morning, turn out the light." He said, while he shielded his eyes.
" I felt something, touch my face, was it you?" She asked.
"No. You were probably just, (yawn), dreaming it." Eric replied
"No Eric, I've been drifting in and out of sleep, and that time, I swear I was awake. Something touched my face! " Amanda said, trying not to
shout very loud. CLICK. The front door closed. It was very quiet, but in that moment of silence, it was very loud. They bolted over to the window and saw tall grass moving in a trail backward. They left. Eric believed her then. They went out together to the main room and Amanda locked the door. Amanda walked back to the bedroom thinking Eric was behind her, but she turned around and he wasn't.
"I'm gonna stay out here, keep an eye out." Eric said. Amanda nodded. Eric sat down on the couch and then stretched his legs out across it. She went to the bedroom and waited twenty minutes, acting like she was sleeping. Amanda didn't want to be alone after this just happened so she went in the living room and lay on the floor. They both went to sleep for the night.
Amanda woke up, but Eric was already outside. It was cold early in the morning.
"Morning Eric. Why didn't you wake me up?" She asked, but he didn't say anything. He was sitting in a lawn chair, and his back was to her. "Eric?" She asked, and walked around to his other side and he buried his head in his arms and lap. He was crying. She patted his back. "What's wrong?" she asked. He sniffled and wiped his face with his arm and stood up. "I was waiting for you, we can go get some food now. But we have to go fast." He said. She nodded and they left. They found a little garden, some tomatoes and potatoes, and there was an apple tree. They picked some and ran back to the house. They ate and were bored the rest of the day again.
That night Amanda slept on the floor and Eric slept on the bed.
"Eric!"Amanda yelled. "Some thing touched my face again!"
"Again?" He asked. They heard the click again, but this time it was the bedroom door. Eric bolted to the window. "Amanda, get weapons! I didn't see anyone leave! He's outside!" Eric whispered. Amanda ran to the closet. She took a deep breath, preparing herself for the stench that was about to come. She opened the door and stepped inside. There was junk scattered on the floor. But in the middle of the closet, there was a bookcase that had nicknacks and pictures. There was on big one. It was a silver picture frame with a picture of a woman. She was elderly, about 65 to 70. On the frame, it said "Mom". She looked so familiar. Amanda realized that it was the sons' mother when she looked at the bottom shelf
and there was a double picture frame that had the "police officer" sons. This was their house! Behind the bookcase was a sliding door, she opened it and there was a dozen dead bodies, she saw Marc, Sam, and Hannah's headless body in the closet. Amanda wretched and fell back. Someone caught her. She looked up and it was Eric. He said "What?" She couldn't even get any words out and just pointed, and when he saw it he almost dropped her, so he pushed her back up. They ran out of the room and down the hallway until someone stepped out from around the corner. It was Frank.
"Not so fast" he said.
Part 6
"Where do you think you're going? Frank said.
"Home!" Eric shouted, and kicked Frank in the face. He fell on his back and Amanda jumped on top of him. She punched his face again and again. Then she did one big blow to his stomach repeatedly and Eric kicked his sides and thighs. On one big final punch to his nose and it gushed out blood. She stood up and Eric raised his foot over Franks face.
"Should I give him the "death sentence" Amanda?" Eric said.
Amanda grabbed him and pulled him to the side.
"No."Amanda said, "I know something better, make him suffer like they did until we get the cops!" Then they grabbed him and threw him in the closet. Eric boarded it shut and they ran off.
They ran and ran. This time when they ran, they ran to the side, not the direction that they came from. Finally, they came to a dirt road. But there were no cars in sight. They still continued down the street. A car came by. They started jumping around and jumped in the middle of the street. Eric and Amanda looked really dirty, especially their clothes. The little rusty green car stopped at the side of the road, their helplessness appearance must have made them stop to pick up complete strangers.
"Thank you so much!" Amanda said. "Do you have a cell phone we can use? Ours died."
"No, I'm sorry. But I do have two chargers. (chuckle) I left my cell phone at home. What's your brand?" The man said.
"I have a...C6J890" Amanda said.
"Okay, I have a C6, see if this one fits." The man handed her the charger and she put it in. "It fits!" The man plugged it in and she turned on her cell phone. She started to dial 9-1-1, but stopped. While the phone rang she asked "What city are we in?... Well, we had some car trouble. We aren't crazy or anything."
"Baton Rouge." He said, and looked at her suspiciously. Amanda hung up the phone. What if he thinks something wrong and doesn't believe we were kidnapped? He would kick us out and my phone wouldn't be charged enough. So I'll wait twenty minutes. They just drove down the dirt road, there was nothing on it, it seemed like it went on
forever. Finally, she looked at the clock and thirty minutes had passed.
"What street are we on?" Eric asked.
"Mully road. It connects with Danburt Street, way at the end."
"Hello? I need some help! We are on Mully Road by Danburt in Baton Rouge. Send cars, we had been kidnapped, but right now we got a ride! We would like to go home!" Amanda said.
"Will do, help is on the way." The operator said.
"We'll take it from here." Eric said. And they stepped out of the car at Danburt and Mully. They sat on the side of the road and finally the police cars came.
Eric and Amanda got inside the police car and drove to the police airport to be escorted home.
On the plane they sat in their seats and ate two meals each. Finally, when they were done they talked.
"I can't believe we are finally going home Amanda!" Eric said.
"I know!" Amanda replied.
"I...I love you." Eric said.
"You do?!?" She asked. He nodded.
"I love you too." And they went home.
Epilogue
The parents of the group of friends were all devastated when they found out about what had happened to all of them.
Their case made world news.
Eric and Amanda stayed together and ended up getting accepted into the same colleges. Amanda majored in art and Eric majored in journalism. All through college they stayed together.
Eventually the couple broke up, thinking it was the best thing to do.
When Eric and Amanda were both 26, they got back together for three years and got married. Two years later, their case became a movie and became the most popular movie in ten years. Eric and Amanda made money for agreeing to the story and moved into a large house and had three dogs and two cats. Eventually, they had three kids: two girls and a boy and named them Hannah, Sam and Marc.
Is my story good?
You have quite an imagination! I skimmed it at first and then went back because after all the talk about alcohol, I thought it was going to be a morality statement. But after the second read, I really enjoyed it! I do not know how you all got to the "jail" or whatever as you left that out. And when Marc was found dead, I thought maybe your story was a dream or at least a joke, like in that movie "Happy Birthday" or something like that. But as it turned out it was like The Chainsaw Massacre! I would be honored to be your editor (you could certainly use one) when you write another story for publication; I assume you are in your teens, right? But I think you should "Go girl go"!!!. I really read every word. Thanks for the entertainment. Vicki PS: I love mysteries and scary movies, books and whatever. Read Andrew Klavan sometime!
Reply:WOW. that's a lot. to tell you the truth, I only read the first few lines but I thought your writing was pretty ok. It was good. But I think to get the reader hooked you want to pull them in with those first few lines. Make it seduce them, you know?
:]
Reply:Sorry but as someone who has been a proud member of AA for 12 1/2 years, I completely disagree with the concept "Beer is one thing but tequila is another". More alcohol related deaths involve beer than any other liquor. Yes beer is liquor. It gets you just as drunk and when you kill someone driving drunk on beer, the people get just as dead. I couldn't read past that statement. It is very irresponsible to give young people that impression. Sorry. It is just wrong. Pax-C
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